The Magnate's Holiest Sin (Cavanaugh #2)

Kabanata 28

Kabanata 28

Crush

Hindi ako makagalaw.

Literally, my body became stiff on the warm sofa. Although my limbs spoke otherwise, my legs were weakening and melting. I could not really determine what I felt. The unwanted, however, welcoming sensations throughout my body kept me awake. His natural vanilla-like aroma was lingering in my nostrils. In the corner of my eye, I could see some sort of a vape smoke that almost shrouded the place. All of it was happening as our body was in this closeness.

Every second I inhaled his scent, it incited me. His smell was like a stimulus to my body. This was driving my brain to absolute insanity.

Umaayaw ako sa nararadaman ko. Wala nang pumapasok sa isip ko. Kung ano iyong pumapasok sa ilong ko ay iyon na rin ang iniisip ko. Ang amoy n'ya. Nalulula ako na para ba'ng nasa pinakatuktok ako ng isang napakamatayog na gusali at s'ya iyong tinatanaw ko sa baba.

I was holding the urge to kiss his moistened lips after he stuck his tongue out and swiped it on his lower lip. Hindi dapat ako magpapadala. Hangga't maaari ay dapat pigilan ko.

Nahihibang na yata ako sa mga iniisip.

We were in that position where the tip of his pointed nose almost touched the bridge of mine. His sharp eyes was directed on me, into my eyes like he was digging through it that could possibly make him be able to see my shivering soul.

Yes, I was pretty enduring and. . . Enjoying the moment while it lasts.

Kakaiba at halu-halo ang pinaparamdam n'ya sa'kin. Alam niya kaya? Hindi naman siguro ako masyado'ng halata? I hoped that he wouldn't notice it, and I must do something to at least cover it up. There was no such sensations that made me feel like this before, not until he came waltzing into my life five years ago.

He took my fear away. Maybe not all of it. Because of the fact that I was not scared anymore, to be touched by him, made me even more afraid to be touched by anyone. It was like five years ago, he became my own personal and nonprofessional psychologist that meant to talk to me in our everyday session and had one aim for me. To remove only a particular anxiety that I felt towards him. All these years, the phobia never really left me. Why did it feel like it was gone for good? It was just me trusting him that made me comfortable with him.

Oo, hanggang ngayon ay takot pa rin naman ako na mahawakan. Si Russel nga ay talagang nilalayuan ko noong bago pa lang kaming magkakilala. Kalaunan noon ay nakuha n'ya rin ang buong tiwala ko. Iniisip ko noon na ako 'yong may mali kung bakit takot ako sa ganoong bagay. But Laki? He made me see it in another perspective. On his own view that it was the people around me, they were the problem and not me.

I was just confused now how my body reacted and responded to him. Either my mind. My body and mind understood it and was getting along each other. I often ignore this before and refused to acknowledge it. But tonight. . .

"What are you doing, cherub? I'm trying to restrain myself, and I lose it. What should I do, huh?" Bumaba ang tingin n'ya sa mga labi ko at ibinalik din naman agad ang tingin sa mga mata ko. "Kiss your. . . Lips?"

Kusang dumapo ang dalawang kamay ko sa dibdib niya. Para kahit papaano ay may matitira pang distansya sa pagitan ng katawan namin. Natatakot akong baka ay maramdaman niya ang init ng katawan ko.

My breath hitched as he drew closer. It appeared that he didn't care nor thought about the people around that was enjoying the scandalous scene. He was cornering me like we're all alone in this place. Dapat ba ay mahiya ako? Ako 'yong napilitang simulan 'to. Ito na. Ano'ng magagawa ng hiya ko kung mahihiya pa ako?