"I should be dead. I should be dead, why can't I die... God, you're not a savoir, you're a damned demon in angel's clothing..." My breath hot with my rage had been blown onto my rifle. The banging on the door only sounded like broken static lost in transmission. My head was left to lament the large guilt pressing on my shoulders. I could no longer find the happy light at the end of this tunnel. The tunnel had caved in once the outbreak reached us, only a teasing light left to give blind hope. And the people soon lost in this disease, the millions that had lives to look forward to, all empty husks with nothing left to save them. My twitching hand was upon my trigger, desperate to pull it and to see whether heaven truly existed or if I will only stay in this rotting hell called Earth.
Only 30 minutes would be left of that door but I no longer considered time as a passing of events but a countdown towards a never ending doom. The small sounds of cracking glass echoed in my skull as these beasts were tearing away at the door little by little, drawing out my pain. My mind was diminishing, there was no doubt. My memories were unwinding and being erased forcibly by my thought process, soon going over what I had treasured in my life. Like movie film, my past experiences flashed before my eyes, as if it was giving its last goodbye.
"Marcus, Marcus! Come on, we have school!" A young boy who I recognized was running around his older brother's legs, tugging at his worn in jeans in impatience. An older voice answered the call as he ruffled up the younger one's hair.
"The school won't go anywhere, don't worry. We'll be there early anyway James." He took his hand and began leading him down a winding road, small ranch houses left in the distance as cattle and other livestock grazed sparingly.
"I spy with my little eye...a sunflower."
"Is that it?" A chubby finger was pointing at a large patch of tall, yellow flowering plants as Marcus chuckled softly, messing up his hair again.
"I said a sunflower, look over there." A single sunflower stem was towering above the rest, its leaves gliding in the soft breeze.
"That one stands the tallest and will be in bloom the longest. It's a strong plant and it always faces the sun because, just like us, it basks in the light. It stays happy and healthy and never wants to stop progressing..." He sighed through his nostrils as his face lit up with rays of sunshine on his cheeks.
"Hey, James?"
"Yeah, Marc?"
"Don't stop looking towards the light. Because even if it gets dark, a light will guide the way."
"Ok!" The young boy jumped with his response with an innocent glimmer in his eyes, the true meaning of those words hidden to his young mind. Oh how that ignorance never lasted...
For a brief moment, a single body appeared in my mind, his head half caved in with intestines pouring out of his torso. His deep green eyes were dead, no longer holding its patient glint as blood from his head oozed down his face. 'I lost the light...'
"M-Marcus..." Unregistered tears ran down my face as a smile began to grow, a couple of small hiccups and even a few giggles was all I could produce.
"Jaaaaaaames! You're zoning out again!" An older boy, one in his teenage years swatted away the hand from in front of his face. A soft cackling could be heard from the seat next to me, red hair and a mass of freckles appearing in front of me.
"You were zoning out again and I know it. What were you thinking about? About little miss- Hey!" A pillow went zooming at her face thanks to the boy next to her, hitting her in the face as she retaliated with the same plush weapon.
