that story tho

the whole story

My most recent relationhip that lasted for almost 2 years ended 2 months ago. And right now i feel worthless and empty.
This is how it started.

Before entering college I met a guy, we've met before kasi tropa siya ng ex ko ( first love/puppy love ). He got intouched with me in the last month of my fourth year in high school. From there things happened, he admits, i fell, i answered, we're cool (well, almost). We started as secret lovers, btw he was 20 turning 21 back then and i was 15. We were planning to say it to my parents since i've met his. We tried but I, we never got the chance, we were too afraid until one day more terrible things happened. I heard news that my mom knew about our relationship so she and dad went to the barangay to discuss the matter, i heard that they almost got him in jail if it wasnt for his mom who pleaded and for my dad's conscience. We settled things down, he agreed to wait for me untill i graduate from college and i promised to be his "forever". So we kindda had a cool off.

Months after we both cant resist so we decided to have our relationship be kept in the safest way. Only few of our friends knew we were still together. Our relationship was just like the rest, we had peaks and downfalls, happiest and most awful moments. If i am to describe the relationship i one word it would be perfect. Perfect love, perfect feelings, perfect situations tho not perfect timing.

Things went well until i fell for another person, yes, i cheated on him and it lasted for almost a month. I confessed to him my mistake and begged for him to stay and thank God he did. I knew i had to earn the trust so from there on i refrained myself from looking at other guys but i cant so what i did was i am always open to him about my crushes. Again things went well. And of course this story wont be fun if nothing happened. Somethig did happened. I opened the topic and we agreed to be open with what we "feel" towards each other. one day he asked me out in a motel. I agreed and no regrets, i love him so much i would give everything. :)

One day we had an argument i forgot what that was about, like in drama series we said our most "heartbreaking" farwells and goodlucks. We were off for less than three months and got back together cuz i felt like i need him and he's all i wanted so we got back together, it was december. We didnt talked too much during the holiday season since both of us were really caught in our families.

Since our relationship is a secret we really cant go to each other's cribs but something crept in me during new year's day, i went to his place without telling him. Before i get to their house i saw his sister and said that he was with some girl named steph (i have heard that before, rumors about him being with some other girl but i ignored). I was shattered my hand were shaking and instincts and thought came rushing through my head, so instead of seeing him on new year's day i went home and went to bed. I didnt talk to him for a week and so did he, no texts no messages, no hints, nothings.

After that one week i asked him to come to ccp to talk. From there i ended our relationship. " i dont want to know what happened or who she is, all i want to say is that im ending this relationship, i have forgiven you for all and now im saying mine. I know it is partly my fault why you looked for someone else, maybe i wasnt enough, maybe i was missing so ething but now Im sorry and thank you for everything and i wish you luck! I hope you love her to the fullest and please dont break her heart." And then i asked him to leave. I stayed for a few minutes crying and hugging myself.

2 months after he texted me saying he still loves me and misses me so bad and asked if we could talked. i wont fake it i do miss him and i still love him but that time i am having doubts something like "is it still right?" & "will this chance be worth it?". I really dont know bahala na ang mangyayari so I texted him where and when.

From there we cleared things between us, i asked for the story, i was broken he did cheat on me (he courted the girl dec. 28 and got a yes dec. 30). He said sorry and he promised to never do it again. I compromised with him about his feelings. As I see it, he has hesitations about his feelings towards girl. I understand him, he's a boy its normal to look at other girls so i made him promise to always tell me if he found or met some girl, if feels the same, if he met someone, and he wants them. i just need him to explain it to so that it wont be a surprise and it wont hurt like hell.