La Petit Mort

9

"Did you get into a relationship?" Kaveh asked, raising an eyebrow. "Something about you has changed." 

"You think it's because I got into a relationship that I have changed? What type of logic is going through your brain? People can't change on their own?" Baizhu chewed on the back of his pen, glaring at his notes. 

"Is there something bothering you?" 

"You mean outside of me being in the hospital, having some weird hallucinations, and having to miss work because my boss gave me some unknown drug?" 

"Ah, right," Kaveh scratched his neck. "Sorry." 

"No, I'm sorry," Baizhu apologized. "The thing is...I don't know the first thing about sex and I only realized that recently. Have you ever met someone that's like... drop-dead gorgeous and obviously has a lot of experience in that area but then you realize how lacking you are and don't want to make a fool of yourself?" 

"That's very specific..." Kaveh stared. "But I know exactly what you mean," he sighed, leaning back in his chair. "I used to have this crush on a guy who was full-on tits out, oozing sexy all the time." 

"Oh? This is the first I'm hearing of it," Alhaitham switched his headphones off. 

"Why is it you always pay attention at the worst times?" Kaveh's face flushed. 

"That must be why you have a knack for doing the same," Alhaitham placed his hand flat on Kaveh's exposed chest. "Do you think it makes you attractive if you mimic that behavior?" 

"Whatthefuck!" Kaveh squeaked. 

"Alright, alright, no flirting while I'm trying to study, please," Baizhu picked up his notes and tapped them against the table to organize the pile. 

"We're not flirting!" Kaveh slapped Alhaitham's hand away. "He is nothing like Kaeya!" 

"Oh?" Baizhu's lips curved upward in a childish grin. "So his name is Kaeya, hm?" Kaeya? That sounded familiar. 

"Ehh?" Kaveh's face turned redder. "I, no, wait!" 

"Oh, Kaeya, yeah, that was the police officer that came to the hospital when I called..." Baizhu muttered to himself. 

"If you're so interested in someone why don't you go move in with that person?" Alhaitham crossed his arms. 

"Having a crush doesn't mean I have any skills asking people out!" Kaveh huffed, puffing his cheeks out to pout. 

"So you'll be staying with me a bit longer then?" Alhaitham stared. 

"I don't get it," Baizhu stared at Alhaitham. "Do you want him to live with you or don't you?" 

"Don't listen to him. It's one of those things he likes to complain about but the day I actually leave he will miss me," Kaveh swatted his hand in the air, waving off the notion. Alhaitham cleared his throat, shaking his head. Luckily his headphones hid the redness of his ears. 

"Anyway, if you're interested in someone you should try to dig up everything you can on the internet first about them. That'll make it easier to talk to them..." 

"And what would you know about talking to people? I thought you couldn't get someone to date you," Alhaitham scoffed. 

"I think it would be bad for me if I tried to watch any more of his streams..." Baizhu admitted. 

"He is a streamer?" Kaveh's jaw dropped. 

"He is a he?" Alhaitham raised an eyebrow. 

"Oh please," Kaveh laughed, "like any one of us has a heterosexual supporting cast member in our friend group." 

"Hmmm, Collei?" Alhaitham closed his eyes, tilting his head slightly to think. 

"Amber." 

"Do we seriously not have a token straight friend?" Alhaitham's eyebrows furrowed. 

"Gasp," Kaveh gasped as he said the word. He hovered his hand over his mouth, staring at Alhaitham. "Did you just admit to having friends?" 

"That's it," Alhaitham stood up, and his chair skidded back. "I'm putting all of your stuff outside," he pushed up his sleeves and started walking. 

"Wait! Stop! I can't tell if you're joking or not!" Kaveh followed after him. 

"Have you ever known him to tell jokes?" Baizhu watched the two.