Doritos

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I read the message James sent me,

Dude what the hell is this dorito it looks like someone licked it before

i chose the worst looking one for you!

Screw you

screw me

Yes

fr???

YES.

damn!

I laugh, placing my phone back down. I didn't know if James knew I was joking or not, but oh well.
My mind started to wonder, placing my thoughts on James. Different types of thoughts. But mostly, do I have feelings for him? I mean, I know I do, but are they strong feelings? I barely have feelings for him currently. But why do I want to sleep with him again so bad? I don't even remember the first time we did. Do I have strong feelings for him? I mean, he is the most perfect man ever. He's tall, he's a blonde, he's a guitarist, he has an amazing voice, his personality is amazing, he always cheers me up, he has a great beard... everything about this man is just perfect. God, and that body of his? Never thought I'd think this about a man specifically, but he's got a smoking hot body. I've never seen such a curvy man. Shit. I have feelings for James. Strong ones.

And what will I do to help these feelings? I don't know. I don't know anything. How will I tell him? Will he feel the same or is he just edging me on? Am I gonna start dating him and realize "oh he's not as good as I thought!"? I need to keep my mind off this for a bit. I need to relax. I get off my bed going to my bookshelf, picking out a random book to read. I light an incense stick and allow my cat in my room to sit with me. I place my book next to me as I get under the blanket and open my book, finding the first page. My cat relaxes next to me, slowly falling asleep.

Iron maiden quietly plays in the background, my room smells nice, my cat is sleeping next to me, and I'm reading. This relaxation didn't feel complete. I was missing something.

The spot in my bed to my left was empty. James could fill that spot, perfectly. What if he wanted to be alone for today? I doubt it though. I take my phone off of my bedside table, thinking of a way to ask James to come and fill in the empty spot next to me.

hey james want to sit with me?

Sure?

i'm just reading but i feel like being with you will make me feel better

Why don't you feel okay right now

i don't know. im just thinking about something

What're you thinking about?

someone

Who are you thinking about.

why do you want to know so bad?

I don't know.

come here and i'll show you :)

I hear James' door swing open and slam, my door quickly opening after. He had the urge to slam my door and belly flop onto my bed, like a usual man would. "Dude gib is asleep..." I tell James, annoyed that he almost woke up my cat. "Sorry.." he whispered. He rolled over and sat next to me, the blanket over his lap. He was observing the book I was reading, I wasn't looking at him but I could tell he was pretending to read it. I flipped the page as I had finished the last sentence in the page, he sighed, "I wasn't finished reading it!" "James if you were reading it what just happened?" I ask him. He facial expression changed into a "I'm lying but I want you to think I'm not". "Uhm... Theeee main character... and the.. uhm.. I don't know god damnit" he sighs, finishing with a chuckle. I kept looking at him, I couldn't look away for some reason. His eyes were just so easy to get distracted in. I admired his entire face, everything about him was just perfect. His eyes, his nose, his lips, beard, the little acne scars he had which just made him so much more perfect for some reason.. just everything. I was letting thoughts run through my head, ones I usually try to block out. My main thought; was he going to kiss me? Was I going to kiss him? Was he going to stop trying after what's been happening? Should I just do it?

I didn't realize how long we had been looking at each other. I brought my face closer to his, looking at his lips then his eyes. Both of our attention was taken away after the cat walked over our thighs, somehow putting all the weight into one leg for every step along the way. She jumped off the bed, scratching at the door to be let out, I gave James a look asking him to let her out as he was closest to the door, but he wasn't looking at me. I had to give in and get up to let her out. I could FEEL James staring at me as I got up and opened the door, and as I trailed back into the bed. "Where were we?" James says looking back at me, deeply into my eyes. I wanted to grab his face and just deeply kiss him, letting anything else happen, but I was waiting for him to make the move. He was slowly getting closer, making me uncomfortably impatient, let HIM make the move... I kept telling myself. Our faces were centimetres apart, I could feel his breath against my lips. He finally kissed me, and not just some boring kiss, I could tell he wanted, no, he needed this. And so did I. I wasn't stopping any of this this time. I want James, and I want James to do this to me. Whatever he's planning.

The kiss lasted awhile, us barely separating to take a breather. I finally pulled away for a good minute, I could tell James really needed to catch up on breathing. He was panting, letting slight sounds out often.

~Loverman~ James Hetfield x (Fem) ReaderWhere stories live. Discover now