"Write about anything. Your day, your crush, how the waves hit the sand with such force, it beaches whales. Write about the first time you saw your mother cry, or how you felt seeing your younger sibling come home from the hospital. Write whatever comes to mind, and I can guarantee it, you will find a story."
This was the assignment in literature. I was supposed to have this done by the end of the month. I don't have a mind like this. I can't write, or even keep my friends interested with a story during lunch.
I slammed my head on the desk in my room, letting out a groan. The only thing I want to write would be lyrics, or a subject I would prefer to keep to myself. Getting out my journal, I wrote the first words that came to mind.
"I hate life."
"Maybe if I just sleep instead of journaling, it will all just go away." I said this while throwing myself onto my best friends bed, and she laughed.
"You can't hide from life, Danni."
I peeked at her from the pillow I had my face shoved into.
"Watch me." I put my face back into her pillow.
Emma sighed. "Well, I'm thinking of writing about my first date with Stephen." She giggled. I sat up on the bed and made a gagging noise. "You and boys. It's gross. Write about flowers or other girly crap." I poked her dress strap. "Or like, dresses. Ew."
Emma took a string of my blonde hair in her fingers, and pouted.
"Ugh, Danni your hair is so pretty. Why don't you curl it? Or wear a dress sometimes?"
I rolled my eyes. She always did this.
"Bee, we've been through this." I called Emma by her childhood nickname I gave her after she decided to bring in a cold bumble bee and put it in her bed, naming it George. How a 6 year old did this still baffles me. "I don't like 'girly' things. Dresses make me uncomfortable, and I just don't have the right body. I like my clothes."
She rolled her eyes and poked my stomach. "Agh, you're no help." Her eyes brightened and giggling, she continued, "Oh! And I think I know who has their eye on you!" Emma winked. I groaned.
I never told anyone about my anxiety. Not even Emma. I didn't tell anyone about how in big crowds my stomach clenched and it felt like I was being hit in the chest with a hammer. I didn't tell anyone about that night either. I didn't because I'm scared. I'm freaking terrified. I can't forget his face, or the way he made me feel so helpless crying, screaming for anyone in total darkness. I can't forget it. I doubt I ever will. I still have nightmares, of him pinning me down, crying, no one being there.
The dark surrounded me. Like a blanket, I was covered. It was heavy, and I could breathe it in. I could hear a door, and more black fog bellowed in. This is it, I thought. I'm done for. It's him again, and he smiles kindly to me. Somehow I can see his face though the dark. I notice his hands on me, and I try shoving them off, but it's as if I'm in slow motion. Nothing is working, I can't move. I'm having a panic attack. I can't breathe, I can't breathe I can't BREATHE.
I woke up screaming, and punching at nothing. Slowly my screams turned to gasps, and I looked around my room, the familiar shapes calming me. 1, 2, 3... I continued counting in my head and I could breathe again. My parents didn't even come into my room. Shocker. I rolled over, and fell asleep with silent tears staining my face.
I felt hands on my shoulders, and I pulled out my earbuds.
"Danni!" Emma yelled my name, even though she was hanging on me and it was about 7:30 AM. ugh.
"Hey, Bee."
"OH! My mom wants you to show a new student around. You guys like, have the same schedule or something!" Emma's mom was the office lady at our highschool. She's actually not that bad.
I mumbled some-not-so-kid-friendly words under my breath and waved goodbye to Emma, flipped around and started walking back towards the office. I put an earbud back in, and pulled out my phone to change songs. Not paying attention, I swung into the office, hitting another girl and making her trip.
Before she fell completely, I grabbed her waist, catching her book bag in my other hand while pulling her to me. She grabbed my shirt, probably just hoping she wouldn't fall. We stood there like that for a couple seconds, and can I just say, DAMN.
Is this what attraction feels like? She isn't "pretty" like I tell Emma when she makes me tell her my opinion on new clothes or makeup or hairstyles. Don't get me wrong, I love Emma. Her short red hair and blue eyes fit her personality perfectly. But this girl.. This girl is freaking gorgeous. She's shorter than me, with curly black hair and stunning fanfiction green eyes. I didn't realize I was staring, or that she was staring back at me, wide-eyed and grasping my shoulders. She had shoulder-length brunette hair and wore a loose black shirt with the band logo 'Anarbor' on it, followed by skinny jeans and black vans. Okay, she was hot.
The mystery girl cleared her throat and stepped away from me, smiling and.. blushing?
"I'm sorry, I uh, tripped. I'm Alex."
She placed her hand in front of me, and I shook it, momentarily forgetting I was supposed to introduce myself as well.
"Oh. Shit sorry I'm Danni. I think." The last part slipped out. Oops. She laughed, and Emma's mom stared at us.
"I guess you two have met. Well, Danni is going to show you around. I hope you enjoy it here!"
We walked out of the office and she looped her arm through mine. "So, what kinds of bands do you listen to?"
