fidelity (h.s. au)

prologue

Success is defined as the accomplishment of an aim, a task, or a purpose. At least that's what the dictionary says. Success shouldn't be defined by others' thoughts of you. Success shouldn't even define you. It should be achieving an accomplishment or a goal even if no one else is there to see it. Success should be following your dreams simply because they're yours.

Walt Disney once said, "All our dreams can come true. If we have the courage to pursue them."

That quote hangs on my wall in the spacious white office that was set aside for me once the time was right. Words that I read every single day, yet they never stuck until now. Dreams can be miles wide and long. No limit simply exists because you're the only one who can define your dreams.

I dreamt of succeeding. That was one of my only two wishes. Now I think about how it was distilled in me from a young age that all I needed in my life was to succeed. Green eyes changed that though. Green eyes and a head of brown curls.

I knew then that my single dream turned into two. To succeed and to love. I didn't know that one of those dreams would get ripped from under me, not once but twice. If I knew then what I know now, I think in some ways I would've changed it. I would've been braver. I would've fought for what I wanted like my grandmother always taught me.

April 29th was supposed to be the day my boyfriend, Ford Berkeley, officially introduced me into his friend group. Dating for several months, he claimed that he wanted to make sure I stuck around before being inducted into their small group. I was honestly so grateful because that meant he saw me in his future. And I saw him in mine. It took years for me to come to terms that one of my dreams may not come true. But Ford came in, breaking all the barriers I had built up. He was like a hurricane waiting to break down my walls, to replace my desires and wants.

April 29th was supposed to be the day that ensured our future.

Instead, April 29th was just the start of what would be known as the day my dreams turned on me and threw me out into the ocean with no life jacket to support me.

Ford Berkeley was and always will be the should've, could've, and would've in my life had that night not happened. The father to my children, the guy on the screen coming home to me. Instead he's a distant memory now.

But he will always be the one that taught me that dreams do come true. That no matter what others say about you, no matter if the media picks you apart, or your family disowns you; that everything will be okay.

Even though I didn't dream of Ford, he brought me to my dream. And for that, I will always be thankful. I never wanted to hurt him, to leave him, to watch his heart shatter and know that I couldn't be the one to clean it up. Things happen for a reason is what my grandmother would've said. She would've tisked me and then said to woman up because this is my legacy and no man can change that.

The company she left for my brother and I was her only dream. She used to laugh and say my grandfather was just an added bonus. It was true, though. He loved her with all he had and she loved this company. That's why I always dreamt of succeeding. I dreamt of being her.

People didn't like that, though. They didn't think I deserved it. I was just a child, they spoke behind my back. How can a child become her and keep her legacy alive?

My grandmother was one to be feared. One that people ran from just so they wouldn't upset her. But that wasn't the grandmother I knew. To me, she was the one I ran to when my parents told me no. The one that I knew would always have fresh baked cranberry white chocolate chip cookies waiting for me, even if it was her chef that made them.

The one that told me in secret, "Eastyn, you're my dream."

So my dream of succeeding wasn't for me, it was for her. It was showing her that I could be what she wanted me to be. So, after he left and took my heart with him, I knew the only thing left to do was follow her lead. Show her that I could do it. That even if my life was filled with failed relationships, I could muster up the smallest amount of love left in me and put it towards her empire.

I would show the world that love is what brought us here. Even if my body was filled with hate, I would make sure no one would ever know because I didn't want to be defined by the things I hated. I hated him and yet he was my dream and the piece of me I always longed to run to. I didn't want to be defined by what I was afraid of or the green eyes that haunted me in the middle of the night.

I wanted to be defined by the things I loved, the people I loved. To me, success was love. Succeeding was being defined by love.

So, do you really want to know where I was April 29th?

🖤🖤🖤

here we go!!

make sure to follow along on my twitter @/kiwimelonsugrr for updates and sneak peeks!

lots of love
christen