I Still Love Him

part one of my misery

So five years back, after my intermediate, i had to go for university admission but because of some reasons my one year got waste, during this time i used to saw all my collage and school friends posting about their university lives which actually broke my heart, obviously i was happy for them, but yeah sad for myself. i used to saw the comments, new friendships and etc.

the guy whose story is this, was the best-friend of my school friend, lets call them sky and taylor (cant disclose the names thatswhy) , ok so they both were very good friends and i used to like adore them together i didnt even know the guy at that time but i am the type of person who always adore and ship the couples so not only just them but there were so many couples which i liked at that time, its in me!

well after one year, admissions got open again, and i got the chance to apply for university and i got admission in the same department! i messaged taylor since she was my friend and told her about my admission on which she was very excited and told me to come to her if any problem in future.

then the day arrived finally , on my orientation day i did saw taylor and sky, obviously taylor was my friend and i knew about sky from social media and stuff, but he didn't know me obviously.

after like month we had this welcome party and they were there, i got title btw (flexing) nevermind, i did remember him saying "come taylor have a picture we don't have any", (weird? no actually some things did stay in your mind like i don't know, you ppl getting me? i had nothing for him at that time, he was attractive, but i never in my life go for looks that was the reason i don't give a shot about him or his existence or his friendships and all).

after a week i woke up and saw a request on instagram which was by sky, and for god knows what reason i got excited lol.

well weeks passed i used to post on stories, and we start to have like very like very very little convos.

one day, conversation got extended, and guess what he said to me? "you? i have not remember seeing you in university!" i mean????? then why are you here talking to me if you dont know me at all? why did you send me the request??! weird? no?

then after playing a little he went like, "THAT GIRL? Oh Oh, the big girl. :))))" yes because i an 5'7" and at that time i was unbelievably fat! it legit broke my heart, before that no one body shamed me, i have (thank god) very nice features and fair complexation, and people do find me pretty, but my weight was little too much at that time, and from that moment till like 1 year, he used to body shamed me like a-lot, he used to call me dinosaur! can you imagine?

well apart from that he was a very nice person, and we used to talk a little little, then few days later we exchanged our numbers, and then we had talks on whatsapp like once in a while, he used to make fun of me alot, but not in a bad way, i do get offended because obviously! but for him, it was nothing.

he started giving me importance , then he had this semester back on which we got in same class, he hardly took any classes that semester but my friends and classmates started seeing us together like talking and etc and used to think we had something going on lol.

during finals of first year, i wanted to have a form filled, and he got me that form, he called me to meet me in university like for a nano minute to give me that form, and that was my first REAL LIFE INTERACTION with him because we had all the online interactions and on the way back home, he told me you are not that fat, you are so pretty, i was wrong and crap.

then we had this welcome party again next year for freshies, we were invited obviously, i was talking to him whole way to the party, i arrived and after few moment, one of my friend told me "hey here is your friend" and he was on entrance wearing blue, he was sitting on a table next to me, we didn't talk much, he had the camera and was talking my pictures, many times, which i knew he is taking, and he was doing that to annoy me i know that too, but think about people? a guy is taking a girl's picture even though girl is hiding her face? yeah thats what everyone thought, and maybe i had this teeny tiny thought as well, because he was legit talking to me those days alot, he messaged me during the party complimenting me, and he used to taunt alot about my boyfriend (i didn't have any) like "go ask this to your boyfriend!!" and stuff, then he, the way he praised me that day!!! i mean noone ever complimented me that way!!

after going home, obviously, he praised my look alot, and told me about how a girl forced him to take her pictures and ask for his number to whatsapp the pictures, i started teasing him with that girl BECAUSE HE USED TO TEASE ME WITH HIS FRIEND ALOT ALOT ALOTT, so i got a chance to tease him and i took the benefit but but at that very moment he told me about his crush which is from another section, i was like ohhh okay, and that got ignored.

later that week, i was in university and i saw him with that girl going to somewhere wearing black shirt both and blue jeans, he said hy to me then his friend came and teased both that matching dresses and shit which made it very clear that they are dating. (ps. not taylor) , i had plans with my sister on that day, but i don't i was off and refused to go with them for god knows what reason!

on the way back home, in van, i cried, i don't know but i cried, and that was the moment i realized my feelings for him, and also i felt betrayed because he told me that he had a crush and they are dating, it was a lie all lie.

i didn't question him much because at that time we are not very much friends.

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Hi, i am just leaving this story right here, since i have no followers and this is my first writing, i don't know if people will read or not, will continue if i will get a response!! :)
thankyou!!!