Concerns of a Looper

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She got a knack for this. But, she indeed wanted to get out of it. Her habits create chaos for herself. Her time table is always persist day by day.

She now works as a part time bookstore clerk. At first she loved books, but now, it seems so hard for her to be free. Maybe, in the future, she will got free from this chains that bind her.

She got stuck in a loop. Each day, was an unhealthy day. She was sick. She needs rest.

At first, she really loved this. She hoped that she will meet someone in that particular bookstore.

But, nothing interesting happen. She just spend her days watching people. Not having any courage to talk to somebody.

How can she be attractive? How can she got free from all this chains?

A change of personality? Each week, she changed her personality.

One day, she learned on how to be independent. One day, she is very childish. She is tough, and some days, she is just wimpy.

No one cared, no one noticed. The bookstore always have someone new each week, but, she just too afraid to begin something.

This thought process created a pattern that is unhealthy. She wanted to get out, but she is being jailed by her own feelings.

Each night, she couldn't sleep. She thought that night is the truest of them all. Many people thought the same too.

Another thought is, that she thinks it's okay to be alone. Well sometimes it is good, but for a human to be alone long enough, it is unbearable. At first, she wants to be alone, but now, she yearns for someone, each and every time.

It doesn't help if people don't notice her.

It added to her sad deprived days.

She cried often by herself. She needed a platform to be free. She finds nothing. She is nothing.

Until someday, when she began to accept herself, as someone who's not a main character. And began to fade away.

Just another girl. In another perception.

Serving as humankind's forgotten piece of madness.

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