Take One for the Team.

Chapter 2

I had tried to convince everyone that I was fine since the break up, but truthfully I wasn't. I had given this man six years of my life, and would think he had enough respect for me to tell me he was no longer happy. He had been calling for five days straight, being that him and I worked at the same firm just on different floors, I had been doing a lot of work from home. I just had to be sure I wouldn't slap him the next time I seen him, that would be unprofessional in the workplace. Maybe I should pick up the phone, but then again he didn't have enough respect to talk to me from the beginning why should I allow him to talk now?
I had talked to my father about the situation, he suggest that I be a woman about the situation. His words were "doing what he does makes you as immature as him. Just because he didn't call you and tell you doesn't mean you avoid the conversation that the two of you need to have. You're a smart woman you know when someone is lying and what they're telling the truth. If you feel he's telling you lies or wasting your time then you be MATURE, thank him for his time and wish him well and continue on with your life but if you feel like he's being honest then you listen to him, don't go back to him but allow him to give you the closure that you need and the two of you move on" they were wise words and I allowed them to replay in my mind so I could decide on what I wanted to really do.
I just want it over with, it's killing me not knowing if he was sleeping with her and I at the same time, how long had this been going on? Why? The only person that could answer those questions was now calling my phone, I had to bring Kota from the hood out, have to show him not to fuck with me.
"Hello?" I said with a whole lot of attitude
"I know you're mad at me baby, but I can explain."
I remained quiet, waiting for him to continue but he sat quietly too.
"Well, hello, I am listening ! Are you going to talk or should I hang up?"
"I wasn't sure if you were still there. Dakota, I am sorry! I never meant to hurt you but I had been so caught in my past that I hadn't realized what I was doing. She's a friend from my freshman year from high school, my first love someone that I thought I couldn't live without. She had come to town about three weeks ago, she called the office looking for me. I don't know how she knew where I worked or how she knew I was still living here but she asked could we meet up for lunch. I went, we talked and the love that I thought was gone had come back. Kota you mean the world to me and I am sorry for hurting you. Im not asking you to forgive me, or expecting you to give me another chance but I do owe you an apology because I know all that you've been through, and that you had been hurt by many people in your life and I have been added to that list. You don't deserve any of the things that have happened to you but vengeance is gods, let him deal with me and all the other people that have hurt you."
At this point there was tears rolling down my face as every heartbreaking event that I have endured ran through my mind, I felt like I was stuck and my soul had left my body.
"I love you, bye." I said before hanging up.
In my mind I wished him well and washed my hands of the situation. After my mind finished reminiscing I had realized that I was existing instead of living. I guess I took my blessings for granted, I made it through my struggle. I come from sleeping on a dirty mattress on the floor to a California King bed in my $100,000 home. I come from being hungry to being able to afford a whole sea of lobster. My strength to fight through the struggle has bought my dad up as well, I have my king in a house he could only imagine living in, from catching the bus to driving a Porsche. I am top 5 at my firm, I have a lot accomplished but I wasn't happy. Sitting back thinking, I wasn't really happy with Mike, I just felt I was supposed to have someone to share this life with and now I know Mike wasn't that person. Something had to change and it had to change quickly because I couldn't go too much longer just existing, I needed to start living FOR ME!