And When The Sun Sets ⋆ Lee Heeseung

v. Autumn 2013

Lee Heeseung was still twelve, barely hanging by the remnants of it, when he'd discovered that he had pretty much forgotten every bit of Korean he ever knew. It was also then, that he'd realised he was just as dumb as his sister- who had thought their parents would ever get divorced.

It didn't happen, by the way. The divorce. But what happened instead, was this move. Just like Icarus fell from the highest of the sky to the darkest depths of the sea, Heeseung was plunged back into his homeland from 

Because it was just as he had told Heeyeon. They loved each other too much for that.

Heeseung realised that it was because they loved each other so much that they'd collide so much. Trying to get their points across, hoping that the other finally understood what they meant. Perhaps that's why they never went to bed angry with each other, and even if they did- they wouldn't ever wake up angry or resentful towards their one true love.

Maybe that was the very reason why even if their conversations elevated at days, they would steadily decelerate into soft tones, and next, hushed whispers of truce. 

All was well for Heeseung,  and more so for Heeyeon. He now noticed the stars in her eyes rise again, shining brighter by the second. 

Those stars were perhaps the only reason he still bore his current fate with pride despite the unbearable nature of it.

A stack of cardboard boxes collapsing right on Heeseung's head does the trick of dragging him out of his own world. The boy, who could swear that he had kept them stacked neatly and that too, in a very fall-proof way- lets out a groan louder than the volume he normally speaks in.

"Idiot," comes a response faster than light.

Heeseung pushes off the boxes from around him to the side, "says you."

"At least I speak proper Korean."

He hated Heeyeon as much as he hated moving to Korea.

Moving to Korea. A whiplash yet again. Heeseung feels that he can never get fully used to taking the sheer reality in. 

He was in Korea. He was going to be in Korea. No going back. No more sunny German days or sticky German autumns to witness. No Jordan nor Becca to support his emotional and social instabilities. 

Lee Heeseung was alone, all on his own- in a way he hadn't imagined. Of course, he had long prepared to be seated for the nicest dinner  they had in a while, the dining table filled with all of his and Heeyeon's favourites- ranging from Western to Korean cuisine. He prepared to feel the closest he had ever felt in a while with his family, when cracks would start to appear in the perfectly staged charade. He would notice love and happiness draining from his parents' eye, followed by their lips creasing downwards. And Heeseung would realise it was the last meal he might have been having with the family he knew to be his only. Then they'd stop laughing and finally break it to them. And he'd remain composed on his seat, and take them he'd like to stay with his mother, and that he'd prefer seeing his dad every two weeks. He imagined Heeyeon shaking a little, processing the bits of reality little by little. Heeseung planned to even hold her hand under the table when it happened. Well heck, he even had scenarios for the movie time version planned and practised over and over, too.

But none of it happened, very obviously.

And what happened instead, was the move. Heeseung found himself awaiting an announcement of a painful separation throughout "The Sound Of Music" and was hit by the sudden news of a move happening. And it wasn't Düsseldorf to Berlin, but to Korea. 

The details of how the big night of revelations went down was and is still very much blurry to Lee Heeseung. And he is sure it would be the same for the rest of his life. He refuses to revisit it, purely out of spite and partially because the following events too, were a little less than fever dreams for him. From scraping down every cupboard, furniture's to emptying the whole house he had called home for as long as he could remember to hopping on a flight straight to Korea with a one-way ticket with tears of parting blurring his vision (in short, everything)- had seemed to happen in the blink of an eye. So fast that he didn't even get to ask himself which part of his soul he had left in the small neighbourhood of Düsseldorf, Germany.