Missing Home

Missing Home. My Home.

It is happening. It is happening but it shouldn't be. I had a dream about it. Is it possible that dreams can tell the future? Well it must be because that is what happened. It may seem silly but it is true. It all is. They are divorcing. My parents. I had a dream about them divorcing. Now that I think about it I could have, I should have, seen it coming. They would always be talking behind closed doors. Not yelling. Never yelling. But always behind closed doors. I remember the day perfectly. Like it was yesterday. It was three years ago.

Mom and Dad sat us down in the living room. They called it "a family meeting." We never had "a family meeting" before. Mom sat in the lazy chair. Dad sat on the ottoman that went with the chair. Jackson sat on the couch. I sat on the arm of the couch. Mom told us the news. She has ever since been the one I have never wanted to be with. I have ever since wanted to be with my Dad. After Mom told me the news I went behind the couch to the small table, moved the bins that are blocking that part of the table, crawled under the table, pulled the bins in behind me and wept. The first time I ever cried. I was ten years old. That was only the start.

That same night I had another dream. I woke up in cold sweats, crying. Just great. Just what I needed after what happened that day. Another dream so bad it was bound to come true.

One week later my Mom called another family meeting. We were in the dining room this time. My mom was in the chair on the far left. My Dad was in the basement. In the guest bedroom. His new bedroom. I was wondering my he was not here with us since it was a family meeting. I new it could only be bad news since the first family meeting was only bad news. I was already scared. Mom said sit down. God I was nervous and Mom was not helping by offering her little tip. That was when she said the worst thing anyone could ever say. Even worse than the divorce announcement. We were moving. As in away from home. Out of the house. Out of the county. Even out of the state I knew and loved for 10 years. We were moving from Colorado to Ohio (if you go to my school you know who I am).

I begged my Dad to make me stay. Take custody of me and Jackson anything to let me stay in the school where I was the popular girl. Where I was dancing at a professional dance school three times a year. We ranked by leotard color. I was a beige leotard. Fourth level. I had been dancing since I was 4. I almost had a boyfriend. His name was Ben. Benjamin Joseph Kinney to be exact. So before my mother made me move to this sad excuse for a town, I was popular, a very experienced dancer, and I almost had my first boyfriend. I had a dog, Buster, who was my BFF (Best Furry Friend) and a cat named Moses who was my SBFF (Second Best Furry Friend). I had my two best friends ever. Irreplaceable by anyone here except for maybe, MAYBE, two people who I have truly opened up to and even cried to. And you know from earlier that I don't cry. My best friends were Mya Noel Minneman and Taylor Williams. I regret never learning her middle name as silly as that sounds it is true. I regret it. We moved away that Christmas. Christmas is supposed to be a happy time right? Not in my case. Every Christmas I get to count off another year of having two houses. Only one home.

So we moved to Ohio. To this little town called Wauseon. Kind of a sad little town if you ask my opinion. But you did not. Anyways, it was a miserable 18 hour drive. The worst part was pulling out of the steep driveway in front of my home. I could see my Dad crying. The only time he ever cried was seeing his precious son and daughter pulling out of that driveway. He was heartbroken and you could tell by his face.

We started our 18 hour drive to this sad little town. I cried for almost the whole 18 hours. I was so depressed for what seemed like ages after the move. My mother and her side of the family gave my brother and I extra presents that year but that can't replace, popularity, best friends, boyfriends (almost), and dancing, and most importantly of all a Dad who would do anything for you. I came to my new school in the middle of the year. Right after everyone got back from their holiday break. I got so many funny stares. The new girl walking in with all her supplies in the middle of the freaking year. I felt so weird and I felt like I was a total misfit. And that year I was. I still am, or at least in the popular's minds. I have always wanted to fit in but I don't exactly have the money for the clothes to fit in. I tried to make friends but I couldn't. About one month after arriving, I finally made a friend. It seemed to take forever and that one friend was not worth giving up my loving Dad for but my Mom would not listen to me, much less let me go back to Colorado and be with my friends again. I miss them so much. I write them and text them and call them about once a week but that is nothing compared to the five days I would see them every week. It is hard.