Dancing x For x You

Hunter x Gon

Summary: More of a look into the strange inner workings of Killua's brain. This takes place during Chapter 6 of DFM, where Killua ghosts Gon for the first time.

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Killua stared at the text on his screen for the hundredth time, willing himself to respond but wholly unable to bring himself to do it.

Gon 4:37pm

Friday???

He felt like a total dick for leaving Gon on read for three whole days, but his thumbs froze up every time he opened the text thread. It's not like Killua didn't want to go out with Gon. On the contrary—he was far too excited about the prospect of Gon taking him on a date. His excitement set off warning bells to his intuition, filled him with the lurking suspicion that something was wrong, horribly wrong.

At some point during Killua's training to be the prodigal son of a family of killers-for-hire, intuition became Killua's best friend. Other than his beloved sister, Alluka, friends were nonexistent. It made sense that it would be challenging to meet kids his age when every day was spent either studying rigorously, enduring torture training, or working 'in the field'. Intuition was the one thing he could truly rely on. His gut told him where to hide, when to move forward, and how to efficiently take out a target. His gut never steered him wrong, and it's what kept him alive for 18 years.

That changed when Killua and Alluka ran away from home with their cat Nanika. Their family was acting even more intolerant than usual, threatening to kill Alluka's cat if she didn't "stop his identity crisis nonsense," and that was the final straw. One week later, when Killua turned 18, they got the hell out of there.

And still, his intuition came in handy, because for a while it was a game of hide-and-seek from their outraged family. For the first year, all they had was a suitcase of cash, a suitcase of clothes, and their wits to get them by. Eventually, Killua managed to come to an agreement with his father: keep fucking with us, and I'll kill mom, Illumi, and Milluki. It spoke to Killua's talents–and his father's commitment to the business–that his threats were taken seriously.

Mr. Zoldyck also seemed to think that keeping the peace with Killua was the smartest idea if he ever wanted to lure him back home...As if there was a chance in hell that would happen. Killua wasn't about to beat that dead horse though, not when his checking account had a large sum of money dumped into it as an additional peace offering.

With their newfound freedom and cash, Killua and Alluka finally settled down in a comfortable Yorknew apartment. Alluka enrolled in school for the first time (although she turned out to be way ahead of the curriculum–the one thing he could thank their parents for), Killua looked for a job, and Nanika got to lounge around lazily like all cats should. It was around that time when Killua's intuition started becoming...problematic.

He couldn't keep a normal job. For some reason, his killer intuition didn't come in handy when it came to pouring coffee, serving churros, or ringing up groceries. In fact, it was a hindrance more than anything that nearly got him arrested a few times. After the third run in with the police, Alluka finally convinced him to see her therapist.

Therapy was a game changer, as much as he would never admit it outloud. It taught him how to make decisions beyond intuition alone, because oddly enough, intuition had become his worst enemy in the real world. Two years later, he was able to function in public without being a danger to society. He found creative outlets for his inner turmoil, figured out what he wanted to do outside of killing and surviving, and enrolled in Yorknew University's electrical engineering program.

It wasn't perfect, though. Five years later, and Killua's intuition was still very alive and present. It was in moments like this that he realized how damaged he still was. Romance had a way of triggering the feral thing living inside him. Perhaps that's why he could never get men to see him as anything more than a casual hookup. It was like they could smell his baggage, could see the danger inside him when they got too close.