suffering, happiness pain,suicide, repeat

goodbye

This is dedicated for my friend i thought of family and is suffering from cancer she might not live for long and so i decided to write her this piece since i can not go in person to talk with her or even visit her as she leaves this world this is the best i can do I am glad that you thought of me as a family member i did so the same Ur life sounded like shit I'm glad you'll get a better one soon hopefully. I am going to be honest i didn't really like you at first because you kept saying you were going through some stuff, i thought you just wanted attention i was younger then i have grown from that but no offense i just cringed at the fic you made for me it was rude and insensitive of me to judge you or think i'm better than you in any way as well thinking of such an attention seeker is something stupid and so inconsiderate to what the other person might feel i apologize sincerely for my stupidness. i wanted to tell you this for a while but just chickened out every time i got the courage afraid you might hate me and want nothing to do with me because not gonna lie that would have been something i would have done but enough of that, after i got to know you a little more is when i realized how kind of a person you are even after all the shit that happened to you and how i knew absolutely nothing about you only judging you for stupid things, I always thought my life was bad but ur story reminded me that a lot of things happen to people that you may not expect. thank you for believing in me when no one did and thank you still for believing in me This has meant a lot for, you can't even imagine how much happiness i felt from you saying that i could get better and cheered me up even if we never got to talk in person i know you would've been a great friend someone i can rely on and trust I am sorry we didn't get much time to spend time with each other but the time we did have is something that will remain in my heart and be cherished for a long time. i hope you get better soon thank you so much,

For @ventablacksans

Warning:suicidal thoughts

I do not support this type of thing. I hope you understand also the girl goes into a coma in the end so this story doesn't have a happy ending. (overdosing drug use alocohol abusive childhood)

The air was really nice outside, I looked down at the ocean that was softly swaying. Wave crashed near the shore, The sun reflected off of it. No one was in sight except for me. The cold water made my feet tickle and my scars relax and feel less painful then what it already was. I walked deeper into the water until it was up to my waist. The waves pushed me back. The sand drifted from my feet. The waves grew stronger and I almost lost my balance but I sunk my feet deeper into the sand, walking towards the sunrise until I stopped again. Listening to the sweet sound the ocean made,

It was so peaceful. No one here to bother me, I smiled a bit before sitting down and enjoying the waves crashing over me. The water hadn't yet reached my head but i didn't mind it would surely do so if not known in the future. I smiled slightly before frowning the beeps from the city, the busy buses and trains passing by. Soon, soon all I would hear would be silence, I was fully clothed, not in my bathing suit. I wore my favorite shirt and pants. I had tied my hair into a high bun, a neat one. In my hands I had something I treasured the most, It was a toy my boyfriend gave to me for my 3 year anniversary. The last present i got from him as i learned he was cheating on me,

i would have left it screw him he could've fuck himself if not for the fact the person he was cheating on me with my best friend, well someone i thought of family but i guess i was delusional. Life isn't perfect and I understand that but why was my life the worst, guess you think i'm stupid people have been cheated on for their best friend and I wasn't anything special. They told me to suck it up when my friend left this world to stop being dramatic when my rabbit died, They said "its just a rabbit" well its just a rabbit my ass.

At Least she listened to my problems and I knew my secrets were safe with her. She was a rabbit and wouldn't judge me or backstab me by telling them to others. People are people. Most people aren't very nice but animals, dogs. Man's best friend. Rabbits, cats they would never leave us, so it hurt but you know what screw it i don't need anybody i can do it myself i thought so. They said "I wasn't worthy, I was useless" Really? The thing was i knew more then them i was special everyone is one way or another i was blessed with talented hands and a tongue. I learned many languages, and drew multiple pictures when I was young. I had no one to teach me