Tenth Grade
Pari had warned me that if I waited too long Noora might find another person. And she was right. We had run into a group of picnickers from another school and a senior boy from that group approached Noora. They have been together ever since. I brush these thoughts aside as I raise my right arm forward to take the morning pledge. We are in tenth grade now and I am class monitor. I repeat the lines from memory absentmindedly "India is my country. All Indians are, my brothers and sisters." Being class monitor I am at the start of the line in the assembly. Next to me is Noora, the girl class monitor. As I chant from memory, my attention is constantly drawn to her: the slight movements of her outstretched arm, the swaying of her uniform in the wind, her voice and the way she pronounces different words.
The pledge is over and we have to return to class. I lead the line of boys while Noora leads the girls back to class. Everyone takes their seats while Noora and I take our positions in front of the class as monitors. Noora writes the date in figures and the day below it on the left side of the board while I write the class division and strength on the right. I want to talk to her but am too scared to do so. Plus there's the fact that she's got a boyfriend.
"You've written the division wrong." Noora observes.
"What?" I look at what I've written. X C. "No it's right." I rebut.
"Your 'C' looks more like an 'O'." She laughs.
"Well we don't have an 'O Division', so people will know that it's 'C'."
"Silly." She comes over and rubs the ends of the 'C' with her hand, making it more pronounced. The side of her body touches me in the process. I feel a warm energy surge where our bodies contact. But as soon as she's corrected the 'C' she pulls away and we are not in physical contact anymore.
"Noora!" I call out.
"Yes?" She answers.
I don't know what to say, I simply called her name because I felt like it.
In an attempt to say something, I make one of the most obvious and misplaced statements "I guess I'll see you for practice today."
I regret it the instant I say it. Saying that was probably more awkward than not saying anything at all.
"Afraid not. I'm skipping it today." She smiles.
"Why?"
"Personal reasons."
"I wonder what these personal reasons are." I tell Pari as we have our lunch.
Most of the other kids are having lunch in the cafeteria so our class is deserted, which gives us reasonable safety from someone eavesdropping and making our sensitive conversation public.
"Well she and her boyfriend have broken up." Pari breaks a bit off my sandwich.
"What?" Noora is single! My eyes gleam.
"It happened a week ago. They don't talk to each other anymore. At least that's what I heard."
"I see." My impassionate response betrays my true feeling - my inner self jumps through the roof with joy.
"Have you still got that thing for her Suresh?"
"Always did Pari."
"Then you gotta tell her man!" Pari holds the backside of my palm, greasing it in the process.
"Yeah." I breathe out, uncertain.
"Look you can't make the same mistake twice! She won't be single forever you know? Don't wait for some guy to come and snatch her away... you be that guy."
I know I should do what she is telling me to do. But I get this crippling fear whenever I attempt to approach her.
"You know there's a saying..." Pari begins.
I roll my eyes. Pari is an encyclopedia of idioms and sayings. I've grown tired of listening to them.
"... if you love someone, you must have the courage to tell them. Or you must have the courage to watch them be loved by someone else."
I don't know if I have the courage to tell Noora that I love her... but I certainly can't let her slip out of my grasp again. Which is why I lay in wait for her in the school bus that she takes. I wait for a few minutes and many juniors fill in. The driver gets in and starts the bus. This causes many of the slackers to scamper into the vehicle. But I still don't see her. Is she not taking the bus today? Then finally, just as I am about to get off the bus, I see her hurry in. The bus starts moving and I guess I'll have to get off at the first stop and walk back for football practice.
She takes the seat right in front of me, unaware of my presence. The familiar fear holds me back. I tell myself that this is my last chance.
"Hi!" I try to get her attention.
But she doesn't seem to notice.
I tap on her shoulder. She turns and looks surprised to see me. "Hi!"
"Hi Suresh! What are you doing on this bus?"
"Noora I wanted to tell you something."
"Okay?" She looks intrigued. Her brown eyes seem to draw me into them.
"I love you."
I get down at the first stop. It's going to be nearly a one kilometre walk back to school. But the distance seems more since I'm taking heavy, sad steps. Today was the first time I confessed my feelings to a girl. Today was also the first time I got rejected.
Our PE Sir is absent today so we have to practice by ourselves. Football is one of the things I love the most but I don't feel like doing it right now. I ditch practice and go to the far end of the ground where our Sports Room is. This is the Den of Degenerates.
"Whoa, lost your way captain?" A boy from another division holds out his hand, stopping my advance. He's probably a lookout.
"I wanna join in man. Now move!" I am the school football captain. The position gives me a good deal of status in school and an entry into any club, clique or society, including the Den of Degenerates.
"Welcome in brother." He performs a stoner knock - seven knocks, the first one followed by the next four in rapid succession and the last two spaced a little apart. That's the code to open the door.
No sooner does the door open than the boy pushes me in and bolts the door shut after me. My eyes have trouble adjusting to the darkness but once they do I see a horde of boys littering the room. There are a few girls too. The place reeks of cigarette smoke and sweat. I never thought I would ever come to this place before, but I guess the mental backlash from Noora's rejection has gotten the better of me.
"What can we do for you, captain?" A boy with a tattoo on his face asks. I recognize him as the guy who got expelled last year.
"I'm here to join you guys." I declare.
"Welcome buddy." He holds out a marijuana joint.
I reach out and grab it.
YOU ARE READING
Taken for Granted
Romance"By the way, did you do it?" "No." I shake my head. I was supposed to confess my feelings to Noora today. But, like the past nine hundred and ninety nine times, I couldn't build up the courage to do it. "Dude! Are you really gonna keep pushing it?"...
