Close to suicide

Chapter 1

Bb

Kiara's POV

I lay down, staring at the ceiling above me, asking myself whether I could continue living like this, with no inner peace and constant anxiety attacks, all because of them. I loved them,and put up with all their shit just to get hurt time without number ! I could not help myself but let the tears leave my eyelids, at least I could release one emotion, sadness. As I lay in my room in my own world, the door suddenly opened and a slap came my way

''get up you worthless girl" my mother yelled.

Times like these make me just want to unalive myself in the cruelest way, that way I could feel pain one more time before I finally die. I got up and dragged my feet to the bathroom to wait for my 'mother' to give me my daily punishment. As i entered the bathroom i saw all kinds of creative weapons....as i prefer to call them. The knives varied from smallest to biggest but one thing that remained the sames were their tips...they were just too sharp, the whips were longer-i think they are new, and lastly the handcuffs, to stop me from running away, honestly she does not need to do that because i am already numb-i cannot react to the pain i feel i only let the tears escape from my eyes. My body stiffened as my mother entered the bathroom,

''stand in your usual position girl'' she said.

i stood upright and stretched out my arms and legs, she held them so tightly and kept the handcuffs on my legs and arms, immediately after i felt a slap on my left cheek

"Thisss....THIS IS FOR RUINING MY LIFE Kiara..!!!!! I SWEAR I WILL NEVER LET YOU LIVE HAPPILY EVER AGAIN...I PROMISE YOU.'' she screamed

''What have i ever done to you mother'' i spat

" You want to know..? well i would never tell you, that's for you to figure out yourself"

"I have not done anything, i never did yet all i ever got from you was hatred and you rudeness...tell me why mother. Do i really deserve this..?'' I asked with tears in my eyes

"Shut up you witch. And yes, you do deserve all this. You ruined my life Kiara you did me dirty''she spat.

''Now let's get to your punishment or else you will be late'' she stated.

She then picked up the smallest knife and stabbed me in the leg, right below the knee, the worst place to be hurt.

''Let's see how do your chores today'' she snickered

''Let's try something different today Kiara darling'' she teased

Just as i was about to ask her what she meant by that i felt the knife travel up my thigh and another stab my foot. i wondered why she did that because she never deformed parts of my body that her 'customers' would be disgusted by.

''No customers today mother..?'' i teased

''Of course not Kiara, you chased them all away, but do not underestimate your mother dear, i will surely get some new customers by the end of this week. Enough time for you to heal'' She stated

''Now on your knees child'' She roared

I did as i was told, and almost immediately i was whipped, it stung so bad-i guess I thought I would be used to the pain by now but i guess not. I stayed quite until my punishment was over. I had to get ready for school, but i could barely stand.I crawled to the bathtub, kneeled down and started the bath, stripped naked and entered - it felt painful at first but it felt soothing later. After staying in the bath for about twenty minutes, i got out, and i saw how the pale blue water had turned red because of the blood on my body. i dried myself and wore my classic black leggings and black mini skirt combo, with some accessories on my skirt, i decided to wear a white crop top with a black leather jacket over the shirt. i then paired up my outfit with some white sneakers and some jewelry. yeah i might be depressed but i must look good a smell good while i'm depressed. I picked up my bag and limped downstairs.

''I'm out mother'' i yelled

'' Just get the fuck out already'' she spat

On my way i played some relaxing songs while i read my favorite novel at the moment. I was so relieved when i reached the bus stop and saw that the bus was still there, i hopped on and just wished the stare's would stop but noooo, everyone could not mind their own fucking business and go on with their day.