Head of Prostate

Beans and Spit

A dehydrated Nixon stumbles into a saloon. The musty aroma of dust and sweat coat his nostrils. He spies a spittoon. The contents of the container are viscous, layered, and a deep shade of brown with a thin garnish of mucous on the top. Dick hurriedly lifts the stew to his cracked lips and imbibes the steamy semi-liquid. With a newfound strength and vigor, he finds a seat in the corner of the seedy venue. Piercing stares from all directions follow. Dick inspects his surroundings. The gazes are none other than every former president of the United States of America. A gust of wind blows open the swinging doors.

A man donning a duster coat and a ten gallon hat saunters in, the floorboards creaking as he walks. Dick begins to whimper and squeal. It's Ronald Wilson Reagan, former president of the United States of America. Ronald takes a seat at the bar and throws two pennies at the barkeep.

"Beans," he barks. The barkeep takes a mug and brings it to a tap. A sloshing noise fills the room. Beans and the occasional sausage fill the vessel to the rim. Reagan carries it to his maw and guzzles it with abandon. His head then turns 180 degrees.

"Lookin' at something Dicky boy?"

Dick feels something trickle down his leg. Reagan slowly walks toward him and before he could get too close, the saloon is brought to a silence by the sound of thunder. Another man walks in. LBJ has arrived, wearing nothing but a clean pair of assless chaps. His unclad soles cause every floorboard to creak and crack. Halfway to the bar, the floor gives out and he sinks down to knee level. The force of the event causes him to fall forward plunging his arms into the floor.

"Former presidents of the United States of America, I'm stuck," Lyndon says.

Former president of the United States of America, Harry S. Truman stops playing the piano. The men all stand and approach the distressed LBJ.

The events that occur are as follows...