Heart Of Darkness

Chapter 51

Angelica watched Lord Rayven walk up the stairs. She had seen it hurt in his eyes for the first time, except for the sadness and pain she saw from time to time. Otherwise, his eyes were mostly dark, cold, and empty. As if something inside him had died.

She knew she had come to a dangerous man. Not in the sense that people thought, but much more hazardous. She had always sensed that he was trouble, and she had been curious, but now, being with him, she didn't like the trouble part. Especially not after last night.

After locking herself in some dark, dusty room, she had been awake almost the whole night. At first, she was scared, but the more she thought and tried to understand what had happened, the calmer she became.

Had he wanted her heart? She had not been sure if he meant her heart. She had pondered the meaning so much that her head hurt and concluded it didn't matter. If she was going to die, she might as well die trying than giving up and going back to that place. And if he meant to kill her, then why didn't he?

What made him hesitate, but why would he suddenly want to kill her?

Something was missing that she didn't know, and she surely didn't understand now when he spoke about needing her heart again. Did he need it to get his back? It made no sense.

From what she understood from their conversation, he would get his heart back by taking hers. It was as if he didn't have a seat. The more she thought about it, the more she became sure he couldn't mean it literally.

This had to be a facade to scare her away. He was a monster who took people's hearts to grow back his own. Did he get the idea from a book, and now he wanted her to run scared? It was a bad idea.

He didn't understand that she came running from people who wanted something worse than her heart. Instead, she would give her heart more than those other people wanted to take. That was always her thought until she thought of William. She couldn't leave him alone in this world.

Angelica watched Lord Rayven disappear around the corner. She realized he hadn't changed his damp clothes from last night. He would get sick, but perhaps that was his aim. He seemed to want pain. First, it was what he did to his face, and now eating breakfast the way he did. That must have hurt a lot. His behaviour still shook her. Something told her he was twisted in some way. That wasn't normal behaviour.

Did that have to do with him wanting death? She had read it in his poems, and now he said he was doomed to live forever. Why was that a bad thing?

From her understanding, he wanted to die.

He couldn't. She needed him alive even though she felt bad for using him.

He was right about the things he said. She did think that no other woman would accept him, which was horrible of her to assume and offensive to him. She did come to save herself with no regard for how that would make him feel. When did she become this person? Yes, she had been desperate to save herself, but it was still horrible, and him saying it out loud made her realize just how bad it was.

It hurt even more when he spoke about his reputation being stained. It indeed would with her by his side, but had she cared about that? This was terrible, and she wished she could have done things differently. She should have known how bad it feels to be used.

It would have been a bit different if she had come to him thinking that he liked her or that she wanted him. But no. She just came empty-handed and expected him to accept her like she was someone no one could deny. Perhaps all those men following her got to her head and made her think highly of herself and look down on him. Lord, was that what she did?

Perhaps that was why she felt hurt when he called her 'any woman'. Of course, she was any woman to him. What made her special? They were strangers. Besides, did she even want to be something more? Many things were disturbing about this man; he seemed damaging to himself, let alone her.

She wiped away the tear that fell down her cheek. She had already known things would be difficult. It was only to keep moving and trying. At least now, he had stopped trying to throw her out.

Angelica took the dishes to the kitchen and tried to focus on washing and cleaning tasks so she wouldn't overthink. She was tired of it. She would go along with things for a while and make herself useful instead. After washing the dishes, she ate the leftovers, which were too much, but she didn't want to throw them away. And then she checked how much food was left. It seemed like Jada had brought lots of groceries that would last a few days. The water tank was also filled. But where was Jada?

Did she quit because of this man's temper, or did something happen to her? She would have to ask Lord Rayven.

Her heart skipped a beat at the thought of talking to him again. What kind of disaster would it be next time? First, it was disgust with who she was and then hurt because of what she was doing.

Shaking her head, she dismissed the anxiety and went back to work. She dusted off a few halls and rearranged things. She also put a few candles here and there so it wouldn't be too dark at night. Hopefully, this wouldn't make him angry.

Then she went to the backyard. This place was dead. She didn't know much about caring for plants, so she just did what felt natural. She removed the finished parts and left the healthy ones. It had rained last night, and the soil was wet, so they didn't need water. A little sun would be good, but the sky was covered with clouds. What a gloomy day.

Strange noises coming from nearby caught her attention. It sounded like a carriage and horses. Who had come to visit Lord Rayven? Angelica hurried around the corner and went to the next one. She stopped and peeked from behind the wall.

Oh no!

It was Simu and his men. They dared to come up here. How did they know she was here? Her heart began to beat fast. What would happen now? What if Lord Rayven handed her over to them? They owned her, considering the debt she hadn't had a chance to tell him about yet.

That was another reason to refuse her, and he could get rid of her without trying this time.

She took a few steps back, afraid but bumped into something. When she turned around, she found the man who had slapped her when she was abducted standing behind her. Her eyes widened in horror as he locked his fingers around her arm and took her out from behind the corner.

"Here she is!" he called, and the other men turned around to look at her. A smile curved Simu's lips.

A worse disaster than the one she feared earlier.