The Diary of- Well, fuck it.

My First Kiss.

I was in the seventh grade when this momentous event occured. And I was sort of a bitch, I ain't even trying to lie.

It was a average day in science first period, everyone was chatting away and a gal named Haley approached. I typically avoided gal named Haley because she enjoyed blowing shit out of her mouth- lie after lie that never added up. I still don't like the bitch. Anyfuck, she began telling me of this perfect date she had the night previous. She claimed that her and Keller Hamilton (the hottest guy in our small town, well, at the time. He was the shit but now, well, he's just shit) had a romantic date out on the lake in his boat. It was stupid because it was literally fucking below 0 and who THE FUCK HAS A DATE ON A BOAT IN BELOW 0 WEATHER? NOW THAT I THINK BACK THE FUCKING LAKE WAS PROBABLY FROZEN SOLID. SHIT BITCH MUST HAVE BEEN A FINE ASS DATE. Anywhore, I liked guy Keller even though I hadn't met him and heard he was quite a whore. Hey, I was 13 and he 15 so I thought it would be the shit to date him.

So that day on the bus, guess who sits in front of me? Keller. Seventh grade me almost had a fangirl fit, but we shant dive into my pathetic self.

So I was like, "Oh aren't you Keller?"

"Yeah why?" He spoke to me almost making me die.

And so I was like bitch mode: activate. Shits gettin' personal, gal Haley, thought 13 year old me.

"This gal Haley in my science class says you're dating. Says you took her on a date last night on the lake, wasn't it a bit cold?"

Anyfuck, he was like te fuck is dis Haley and I explained to him that she must have been lying like she always does. And he took my phone and put my number in it.

I sure did think that I was all that and a bag of fucking doritos, I'll tell you that.

Doritos fucking rock man.

So the next day he sat by me and basically asked me to snog him but I was stupid and didn't get his clever play of words and declined politely. Even though we planned on kissing. Who plans on kissing? People who should not be kissing. I got it at the last minute and kissed him. It was terrible.

Let it be known that it was fucking awful. Hot guy Keller was not te shit. And we didn't speak again so ending my 13 year old romance. How sad.

But let me tell you what, Keller was a terrible kisser but I let the whole world know that nerdy and awkward emo phase Cecilia got to kiss the hottest guy in our town. Own that shit guys and gals.

If you feel proud of something even if for the wrong reasons OWN IT. YOU WORKED FOR THAT SHIT.

Ok so I only feel slightly sorry for gal Haley, but hey, she shouldn't lie all the time. Six years later and she still does.

Also a spider literally just crawled onto my phone and I'm in the dark. Had a heart attack, but all is well, I put the good fellow outside. Have a good night.