HIDDEN LETTERS

Letter 7

Dear sunshine,

I wrote everything in my heart for you with a single pen. Everything I could ever imagine to say to you in words.

A confession was not something I am strong at. But the overflowing words got to me and so I wrote them.

I could never burry myself with those heavy words I had for you.

I write it with delecay, knowing you will be reading them and maybe keeping them. I never wished for you to read them. Reading them means accepting our final fate.

But when it's not on our side, could we blame it? Could we blame something which was, from the start, was our own enemy?

We wanted hope in life and so we built one for ourselves, through ink on pages and smile in hearts.

But reality strick us a little hard and we fall into the depths of misery and pain once again.

The one who said that we fall in love was right. Someone who can imagine, can only fly in love, but the one who face the reality of world end up sinking deep in the ocean until they are out of breath.

I sit on my hospital bed as I look out of the tiny window the room provides. It's flimy but I like the view.

The room resonates with beeping sound of machines, overpowering the silence. You are gone to get me some food right now though and I can't wait to eat that.

But I think you will be a little late. It's alright though. I can hold for a few more minutes. My hands are shaking as I write and my heart beat is quickened.

But I will be strong for you. I will wait for you.

Right now I can imagine our first kiss. And unforgetfull moment in my memory lane. How your lips molded with mine just like a piece of puzzle finding it's way to the other one.

I remember your shyness. You were scared to make the first move. Alot had changed after that though. I saw you smiling more frequently then before.

Your eyes shine more now. They speak more of you then what you want to show. The brown eyed boy I saw the first day was a grown man now. All happy and filled with hope.

You asked me if this was forever. My love, forever is a myth we see in stories. Our forever was the pages we wrote together with our affection. It ends where we stop writting.

I knew you never belived in love. But I believe in you. And I belived the good in you. That's all matter at the end because I have enough love for both of us, my sunshine.

Do you know what comes after death? I might act strong but somehow I am scared. Is it dark and void?

You must be confused why I wrote so much to you.

There were things I never spoke about to the world. There were words which hold so many emotions that I try to hide in my heart. Perhaps they were locked away in a golden box somewhere waiting for the right time to be spoken.

Those were my hidden letter to you though. And I thought it should only be yours to have. And so I gave it all to you through this words I wrote. These are memories I wanted to retain for life. With time, however we may vanish from the surface of earth, this letters will always stay alive and breath our story to the world for the centuries coming.

Take them as a token of my love. I never said that I loved you . Neither did you. Those words were useless and we knew it.

However my feelings grew more then love define and I started writting. Knowing my overgrowing heart for you will rest peacefully once it conveyed the words of affection for once. Hidding them will bring a life long guilt.

Looking back now, we lived quite a life. We lived with the sun and loved with the moon. We found comfort between our hearts and home within each others arms

Would you hold me for one last time please? Embrace me like you did at the beach for once more please? I want to be home as I sleep forever in the darkness.

I wish time was in our hands and I could stop it all. I wish I was not dieing and our luck was not ruined. I wish I could love you forever like I promised .

I wish I could be by your side and be the person who makes you happy.

And again it was a wish which was not granted to us.

Disease took our love away from us. Time took revenge over our neglectence and death would result in the last stop of our journey.

Then again love played no role in it. Disease, death and time were the players and they played well betraying the wishes of loved once, as they cried the tears away.

I see the sun kissing horizen for the last time today. You are late. But I don't blame you. I blame myself for everything that you went through.

Promise to love this broken world a little more, it needs you and your warmth. Promise to let go of me and find peace in your heart. I don't want to weigh like a pleagu of pain in your heart.

I never intended to hurt you. But all I did was hurt you. In the worst ways possible.

Forgive me for one last time?

Smile for me my sunshine. Smile the brightest and tell them you are worth it. That you are enough and that you are more then they think of you.

I apologise for not staying longer. I tried my best to stop but the creators above are calling my name now. I guess dieing isn't that bad after all.

With me gone my pain will be gone as well. I will no longer suffer under the misery of my broken heart. I would be finally free from all.

Just know that I am happy. Whatever time you gave me my sunshine I thank you for that. In my memories you will always be the only person who truly stole my heart.

I will wait for you as I get some sleep. Kiss me tenderly on the head as you say goodbye for the last time. I will know that you were by my side till the end as you promised.

I love you with all I have, my sunshine. Today, tommorow and forever.

Love,
M