checkmate

(Leo) "PILOT"

We were strangers. At some point, the four of us didn't know each other being complete strangers. One gaming competition brought us together, it changed everything when we managed to win. I mean, of course, we did. I was sixteen at the time— the youngest of four. We got along better than I would've expected. We became close. We played games every day, all day and we talked on call every night. They became my priority and at this point, I would have considered them family. Six years later and our bond has never been stronger.

"Do you believe in soulmates?" I asked barely above a mere whisper stretched out on my bed with my phone laying on the pillow beside my ear.

"Soulmate is a funny word, it can mean a lot of things yet nothing all at once," Wyatt says.

"It's a stupid concept, just as love is" Finn commented with no emotion to be sensed behind his words.

"Why the sudden question?" Henry questioned.

"I don't know, I was thinking..."

"Is everything okay?"

"Always" I hesitantly breathe out with a million thoughts clouding my mind.

It was four in the morning and I was on a discord call with my three best friends, Wyatt, Finn, and Henry. We played games all night until about two hours ago, it was two in the morning for me and we had decided to call it a night— I couldn't fall asleep so I hopped on the Discord call when I realized my friends were there. We talked for what felt like hours, about everything and anything. Some conversations were lighthearted and fun as for others were more broody and serious.

I honestly don't know why I asked what I asked but I did. I am so sleep-deprived and starved, I don't know what's going on anymore. University is draining and working in the cafe around my house is more stressful than I'd like, it's always so packed and some customers are rude as hell. Sometimes I want to quit but I'm already as broke as it is. College is expensive and so is rent. I don't have anyone to help me with things like that. Although I earn some money while streaming on the side so that's not so bad. Henry knows about most of my situations so he helps out a lot, I told him to keep it between us because I didn't want anyone to stress out about it.

I audibly sigh after a small moment of silence and I immediately catch the attention of the boys that were on call. I had almost forgotten about them. "Leo?" Wyatt asks with concern lacing his tone. "Is everything alright?"

"I'm sorry— yeah... no, everything's okay, college is just stressful and I have a lot of things due soon" I try to explain but they didn't seem like they believed my bullshit. "I'm fine" I reassure. "I'm okay"

"You don't seem too sure about that," Finn says.

Sometimes my intrusive thoughts tend to come at me and I wonder why they need me at all. Why are we here? Everything that has led us to this moment, what was it all for?

I quickly push those negative thoughts away before triggering an episode.

My mental health has been declining rather quickly and I think the worst part is... there is absolutely nothing I can do about it and it fucking sucks.

"Leo" Henry says.

"What?"

"You were zoning out again"

"Oh"

It was all I said. The only thing I was able to say and it wasn't much. The call went quiet again. It was silent. Nothing was heard. I took a deep breath, in and
out. Maybe there's a reason I'm this way. There was definitely a reason.

The men decided it was better to give me a moment. They didn't leave the call. They didn't want to. They wanted to keep me company and I didn't mind one bit. I forever will be grateful for these guys.