Release Me

Prologue

6 Months Prior

I stepped into the office. I'd spend more time than I care to count cleaning, studying and practicing various poses until every part of my body ached for relief in this place. How many times had I found myself, hands flattened on the top of his desk as I bent, exposed, awaiting my discipline with uneven breath?

The first time I'd graced this room, I'd been wide eyed at the odd way his staff respected him. The way they showed deference to his authority. Some were soft as they awaited his minute control. While others only needed the slightest commands and corrections to send them off to do his bidding. It was the overwhelming and fascinating. Now it was the only life I knew and I wouldn't trade it for the world unless... I shook the errant thought from my mind.

If it weren't for my best friend Samantha, I wouldn't even be in this room. Instead, I'd be writing stories from my head, experiencing none of them. But a handful of decisions put me in this place. It gave me a new perspective on the world and I found a home.

Now I could only hope that these next moments were worried over nothing, and in a moment the fear that gripped me would release and let me breathe again and not force me to bear the full weight of the strange and wonderful world I was thrust into after I one fateful interview with the indomitable Dr. Dominick Dawes.

"Come, Atlas." He punctuated my name and pulled me from the million thoughts racing through my mind. "They've decided."

'Please let it be someone else, like Jacob. Anyone. Well, maybe not Anne, but anyone else.' I lifted my eyes in a silent prayer, begging and pleading for any divinity to listen.

With practiced steps, I forced my body to move across the floor. Here, every movement was significant. The slightest change in the way I held a hand would easily signal disrespect instead of honoring the contract of authority. They did not tolerate such things, unless the person in charge so chose it to be so in private.

For me, perfection was the goal, and failure was met with swift, and often painful, correction, though there was something comforting when it happened. Lately, however, it was happening far less, and I wasn't sure if it was something I was doing wrong, or if his soft lingering touch meant more than he let on.

He lifted his eyes from the computer screen and held my gaze. His expression caused every butterfly in my stomach to take flight and with a flick of wrist he sent a silent command to kneel. It was almost a mercy because I knew if this went the wrong way, my legs might not hold me.

"They've decided."

I gave a nod and let my eyes fall to the floor without changing the stark posture. He moved around the desk and leaned against it before laying a head atop my head, stroking my hair as if to calm me.

'Please don't let it be me.'

"No matter who it is, the entire Regency pool will need to support the new candidate as they get settled, while the new 'heir' takes their place to learn the role under the current Regent.

'Please don't let it be me.'

His hand fisted in my hair and pulled until I looked up at him. Something passed between us and all I wanted him to do was to wrap his arms around me until I felt safe, except it didn't actually make me feel that way anymore.

I needed him to be the wall I punched until I'd beat back my inner demons accepting the pain of his whip, or bite of a thousand other creative loving tortures until tears spilled in rivers down my face. Then send me to the sensory deprivation chamber to sit in blessed relief until I forced my senses to deal with the darkness and pure silence. On the other side of it all, I'd find him waiting. Then he took me to bed and showed me pleasure. I didn't have the adequate words to describe.