Our Tulips Together

05 | Bad Blood & Unspoken Apologies

With Isabelle and Alexa finding their footing at home, there was one less thing on her mind. But the same cannot be said for both her and Ben, who is just as infuriating as before. After what happened last Friday, they mutually agreed to limit any and all interactions unless absolutely necessary. To fill in the silence, she suggested that they take turns playing some music aloud.

Since it was her suggestion, Isabelle takes the first turn to play music from her phone. She is playing songs from the "Global Top 100 Pop Songs" when she notices that Ben is frowning more than usual. She had totally guessed right - Ben is an insufferable music snob, who is yet again, slacking off.

Isabelle decides to let him off without a word, but it doesn't mean she's taking the high road. She increases the volume of her music to further grate his nerves - See how he likes it when his patience is being tested.

"Could you do my ears a favor and play another song?" Ben asks through gritted teeth. "I think my ears are about to fall off."

Isabelle rolls her eyes. "Oh, my god, you are such a snob."

He gives her a pointed look. "I could say the same to you," he replies matter-of-factly. "Looks like we're more similar than you let on."

"Oh, trust me. We aren't cut from the same cloth."

"Oh, right," Ben says, rolling his eyes, as well. "I wouldn't want to be lumped in with an overachieving straight-A student whose sense of self-worth is tied to social approval and external validation. Now, that would be a tragedy."

Isabelle narrows her eyes. "At least I'm not a burden to anyone. God, I feel so bad for Mrs. Morrell right now. If she just knew how much trouble you are causing here and at school, she would be so disappointed."

Her words must have touched a nerve because she'd never seen him so angry. His jaw is clenched and eyes are hardened, but he doesn't say anything. He just picks up his trowel and says, "Let's just finish this up."

"Really?" Isabelle scoffs in disbelief. "Nothing? No comeback?"

Uncomfortable silence descends upon them. Neither of them say anything, and the head-bopping song playing from the speakers somehow makes everything worse.

Isabelle also picks up her trowel, but there's a strange lump in her throat. She wishes that Ben would have had a comeback. Maybe if he had said something or even gotten the last word, she wouldn't feel as guilty as she did now.

"Well, it's getting late," she says, standing up and dusting her leggings. "I better get home."

Ben doesn't say anything. He nods slightly, but he doesn't meet her gaze. Isabelle quickly packs up her stuff and hurries to the door, where she sees April waiting.

"Thanks again for today, Isabelle," she says. "I hope Ben didn't give you too much of a hard time."

"No, not at all," Isabelle lies.

"I'm sorry if he's always disappearing whenever you're gardening," April says. "It's my fault. He always insists on helping me around the house even though I'm perfectly capable at my age." She leans in, as if she is revealing a secret only they should know. "I know he's a bit rough around the edges, but he's a good person once you get past his 'me against the world' act."

Her words suddenly replay in her mind: "At least I'm not a burden to anyone." There was that lump in her throat again, telling her that what she said awhile ago was really fucked up. But she still manages a small smile in response before leaving with a heavy mind.

***

At home, Isabelle sighs and plops down on the edge of her bed. She starts biting her nails, a habit she's been trying to break with little success. She'd never been in this position before; she'd always been level-headed - at least, that's what she likes to tell herself. But there is just something about Ben that manages to bring the very worst of her.

From the corner of her eye, she sees Alexa sit down on the bed next to hers. "Oof, rough day?" she says.

"I feel so... shitty right now," Isabelle replies.

"What happened today?"

"You know Benjamin Morrell, right?"

"The guy who's always sleeping in class?" Alexa asks.

"Yeah." Isabelle nods, propping herself up with her arm. "Well, I'm sure you're caught up by now about what happened with the Morrells' garden. So, every week, Ben helps me with fixing the garden, and we don't get along - at all. Like, I've never met anyone as infuriating as him, you know?" She pauses. "Well, today, we had a full-blown argument, where we both said some fucked-up things to each other."

"What did he say?" Alexa asks.

Overachieving straight A-student whose sense of self-worth is tied to social approval and external validation.

"I don't even want to say it," Isabelle says. Because deep down, she knows he was completely right. It was like Ben held up a mirror of herself, but she didn't like what she saw. She hated that Ben seemed to have her all figured out, and she couldn't say the same for him.

Alexa knits her eyebrows together. "What the hell... that bad?" She stands, wound up. "You know what? Bring me to him. I want to give him a piece of my mind."

"No, no, no! Seriously, I already forgot what he said," Isabelle lies, pulling her back down. "It's just that I said something really bad, and I wish he said something worse so we could be even. I hate feeling like I owe him something."

"Like, you think you owe him an apology?" Alexa asks, confused. "But you said it yourself, you both said some fucked-up things to each other. So, I don't see why you have to be the one to apologize first."

"I know, but hypothetically, what if he was right?"

"I can't even imagine a scenario where you're wrong," Alexa jokes. "Also, are you okay? You never think you're wrong."

Isabelle laughs. "I know, I'm always right," she says, faking bravado. "But hypothetically, just this once, what if I was wrong? Like, do I need to apologize first? Or should we just compete on whoever has the highest pride and never apologize. Because honestly, I'm leaning toward the latter."

"You are competitive, after all," Alexa adds, laughing, as well. "But, hear me out: If it crossed your mind to apologize first, I think you should do it."

Isabelle groans, slumping back on the bed.

Meanwhile, Alexa lies down on her back and tucked herself into bed. "If you don't mind me, I'm going to sleep now because my mind is not preoccupied with bad blood and unspoken apologies."

Isabelle rolls her eyes and throws a pillow in her direction. Then, she turns the night lamp on and switches the lights off, remembering that Alexa admitted to her fear of the dark not too long ago. Then, she climbed out of bed and wrote to her planner, 'Apologize to Ben. on Monday.'

A/N: Who else can't live without their planner? 🙋‍♀️