Worst Two Weeks Of My Life

60 7 0
                                    

Did you ever get to that point when you just like, "no, I can't take take this anymore", well lately I always feel like this. I just feel like all I'm doing is dying from the stress. The last weeks of the school year always got to my mind. I don't know what I'm going to do. The exams are so complicated and nothing seem to work. I stay late the night to study, I focus on the teacher's course, but nothing seems to work.

I had an exam this morning and I really fucked things up. What really made me so angry is that I studied the whole night but at the end, I couldn't remember a thing. I don't want to disappoint another person, I don't want to feel I'm useless and I want to pass this year because everyone is putting so much hope on me and waiting for me to do something. But I can't please anyone, even myself. So I'm going to pray so the teacher will be easy on me and I'm not gonna fail this course.

I still have 7 exams to pass and I already am giving up. Yesterday I was at the point to just pack my things and leave this shitty place, because I couldn't take this anymore. It's not that I didn't study hard enough, but because the teachers always look for a way to make us fail the test. There's, for example, this teacher who did teach us only a couple time and he gave us a test to do.

WTF!!!

I was really in a bad mood because I don't know if I will pass this course, but I really hope to because I don't want all the efforts I did go in vain.

------

Even though I was really in a bad mood because I haven't finished he project that I have to give next week and I still didn't revise for the exams for the next week too, I couldn't help but have a little bit of fun, and by fun I mean, reading and writing. Yayy! So much fun. But that the only thing that I feel like I am not failing, I wish I will finish my studies earlier and then go abroad to study filmmaking, I always wanted to be a filmmaker, I want to see the things that I write, the things that I see in my mind in front of me, real and alive. But I can't, because filmmaking in my country isn't a decent job and my parents won't let me do it, because they want me to have a normal job, carry a normal life and have a normal family. But this is not the life I wish I could have, I want something full of energy, action, adventures and fun.

Confessions of a college girlWhere stories live. Discover now