Beneath the Stars

1

QUINN

Dave Keller was my teenage nightmare.

Dave's hits were brutal. He wanted to see me suffer. I was nothing to him but a piece of trash, too much like my dad.

Dave was Ma's boyfriend. The man looked in his late 40s almost pushing fifty, but he insisted he was 36. I thought my mom was only with him for money, but then I learned he was broke.

I couldn't understand how Ma could be with someone ugly and broke, but then I realized Ma and David were twins. They were a match made in hell. Ma was bitter and mean, and Dave was just a straight-up asshole. The two deserved each other.

Dave was Ma's boss, and they had an affair. Dave's wife found out and quickly filed for divorce, taking all of Dave's money. I thought that would be the end, but then Dave moved in.

David seemed normal at first. He was nice to me and my sisters and seemed to love Ma somehow. I foolishly thought maybe life would be better now that Ma had a good boyfriend.

I was so fucking wrong.

Months into Ma and Dave dating, the man showed his true colors revealing that he was an abusive asshole. He took out his anger only on me. I made sure of it.

Sometimes David got too handsy with my sister Jemma, and I stepped in, handing myself to the devil. I never let Dave lay a finger on Jemma. She was off limits, and I made that very known to him.

Dave never hit Ma. In a fucked way Dave loved Ma, and Ma loved Dave. Ma cared more about Dave than she cared about us kids. Men were her first priority.

Dave would beat me all the time starting at 14. There was never anything special about how he went about it. He was old-fashioned, using his fists and feet to break me.

Today felt different

Dave came home drunk, and I assumed he went to the bar first. I was in the living room, and he didn't even give me a warning before taking a swing at me. That's when he started punching and kicking me repeatedly.

Dave looks like he's getting tired, breathing heavily like he's going to pass out. I can't help but laugh at the state he is in.

"C'mon fucker you can do better than that." I push Dave harder, and he kicks me. I hold back a groan, refusing to let the bastard know he affects me. I like making Dave feel inferior.

"Stupid bitch," he screams at me, kicking again and again. His work shoes dig into my skin, and I can't help but let out a small groan.

The pain he inflicts makes me feel alive in a fucked up way. I'm getting the attention I so desperately crave from Ma. Someone finally is paying attention to me, and I couldn't care less if the attention was good or bad.

Dave talks to me more than Ma does these days. We have a routine.

Dave comes home drunk and since Ma isn't home he needs a punching bag. I usually smoke a blunt in my room, and Dave barges in, dragging me out by my hair. And then he beats the living shit out of me until he gets tired.

It's a routine I look forward to. I punish myself for failing my sisters and Ma. I'm not really a man, I feel like a little boy. I convinced myself years ago that the beatings make me a real man, and that I will become stronger.

And in a way, I feel stronger.

Dave punches me again, and I start to feel dizzy. Each punch says what he feels about me.

I disgust him just like I disgust my mom. I'm not wanted around. He yearns for me to be gone.

My ears are ringing, and I can barely make out what is being said.