invisible string

one.

( this fic contains depictions of anxiety. if that's going to bother you, this may not be the story for you! ) 

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the transition from fall to winter was abrupt;

one morning you open your eyes and the crunchy, orange leaves have curled and gone brown. swirls of chilled air and frozen rain threaten to turn into snow which replaces the brightly colored leaves that once danced and twirled their way from the trees to the ground.

the transition from fall to winter means final exams, impending doom, and a great loss of sleep.

by the way you rushed to class, anyone passing by would've assumed you were running extremely late. however, it was quite the opposite. you needed to be exactly twenty minutes early. twenty minutes early to fix any hair that would've been knotted by the wind, and twenty minutes early to secure a seat that was a perfect distance from the pretty girl with auburn hair that was in your class.

finals season led to the lecture halls being crowded of students who hadn't previously attended class on a regular schedule, and you refused to once again lose the seat that you have been using all semester.

the sound of your shoes echoed through the silent hallway. In a flurry you were pulling your phone out of your pocket, pulling your bag higher on your shoulder and adjusting the bottom of your sweater. you heaved open the classroom door without a moment of checking your surroundings, which caused you to freeze instantly when you caught sight of the auburn girl sitting next to your seat.

the heavy door swung to a loud closing, causing you to outwardly flinch as the girl quickly looked up. the sudden eye contact made you cringe, but it was over as quickly as it happened as she turned back to slouching over her notebook.

in a moment of internal panic, you busied yourself with your bag as you fought with yourself over what to do next. the classroom was nearly empty, would she think you were a freak for sitting directly next to her? on the other hand, you had been sitting in that seat for the entire semester, surely she knew that? then again, she most likely wasn't paying attention to you in the way that you had been paying attention to her...

after a moment of hesitation, you swallowed your pride and slid into your seat with burning cheeks. you were nearly certain her name was ellie, but hadn't managed the courage to speak to her yet and the semester was nearing a close.

ellie was someone who instantly caught your eye. you wanted to be her friend, but never worked up the nerve to start a conversation. you noticed her a lot though, maybe more than you should. admittedly, on the days you have been tempted to skip class, you ended up attending simply due to one reason.

she was funny, you could tell by the way she interacted with other people in the class. and she was pretty. so pretty, in fact, you hadn't wanted to sit directly next to her because it was simply too daunting.

but now here you are.

a hole could've burned through your notebook because of how hard you were staring at it, feeling completely unsure of what to do with your body. sitting next to her made you feel frozen, and you mentally cursed yourself for being so pathetic over someone you didn't even really know.

out of the corner of your eye, you could see ellie twirling a pen through her fingers. you caught sight of her tattoo and thought your gaze might've lingered a little too long because the girl next to you suddenly sighed loudly, causing you to jump and refocus your gaze to your notes.

"alright, scale of one to ten, how fucked do you think you are for the final? I think I'm standing at a solid..six? maybe?"

heart thumping, you turned to meet ellie's gaze. she was staring at you with her eyebrows pinched together, but still had a small smile hanging off of her lips.

"same," you released with a nervous laugh, quickly frowning at your lack of response. you try to will yourself to think of something witty, ultimately failing but ellie smiles anyway.

her change of expression encourages you and you manage to spit something out without overthinking it.

"I really want to be more positive, but I'm horrible at taking tests. like, really horrible. It doesn't matter how much I study or if I love the material... I'm like, done for."

ellie nods and the conversation is short lived, but you're buzzing well throughout class. she doodles on her note pages and pieces of hair fall from her low bun to frame her face. you steal only a couple glances, using all of your power to focus on the professor and not the girl sat next to you.

in your determination to not let your eyes linger, you're completely unaware of ellie's gaze. she notices your notes, detailed and organized, and the slight frown on your face as you scramble to make adjustments while the professor reviews information.

it's a miracle you're able to focus and class ends ten minutes early, a rarity yet well appreciated. you're trying to decide if you should get another word in with ellie while you're packing up, and she makes it easy on you.

"hey, are you doing that whole study group thing?" ellie askes suddenly, her tone growing in confidence as her sentence finishes.

sliding your notes into your bag, you pretend to think it over. in reality, you never considered the option. the idea of meeting up with people you didn't really know in an attempt to teach other class material sounded like an anxiety nightmare.

"I don't really know," you admit. "are you?"

ellie shrugs, nearly hesitating for a moment before standing and straightening her posture. she carried herself well, you noticed, fighting a burning in your face as you stood awkwardly after her.

ellie didn't verbally answer and her original asking left you curious, but you had homework due soon and no time to delay. after a rushed and mumbled parting, you left the class as quickly as you could without seeming as if you were running away from ellie herself.

the late november air was as unforgiving as the nagging thoughts in your head about a silly study group that you previously had no interest in. you were certain that you were reading way too into things... ellie had only asked a simple question and she surely wasn't going to lose sleep over it.

regardless, you found yourself double checking the date and time that the study group was supposed to meet, and making sure of your availability... just in case. 

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a/n : this is a reposting of my current work on tumblr! 

i update consistently and always post there first, but a few people have been asking me about making a wattpad so here we are (: 

you can find me on tumblr at elleloquently

if you're here from tumblr, hi, nice to see you again! if you're here from wattpad, it's nice to meet you and i hope you enjoy!