you do not know how i feel

IZZY

as soon as Izzy saw me they pulled the hoodie over their eyes and opened their locker.                       " Izzy are you, okay I kept calling and calling you last night but you never answered." I said, " Hi nice to see you too, but I'm not ok I want to talk to you, somewhere private." Izzy said quietly and then shut their locker and started towards the bathrooms. we got in there and they put their bag down and sat down on the floor after making sure no feet were underneath the stalls they turned towards me and with their hand, they pulled up the hoodie sleeve to show a bunch of cuts I had seen once before and that's when I knew something was up and something big.               " Izzy tells me you did not," I said looking carefully at the arm already knowing the answer                  " umm I know you already know the answer to that so I did." Izzy said a little louder than before    " okay we have most classes together. " I said as I opened my bag and pulled out  putty. I gave it to them. " if you want to continue doing yourself harm then please play with this." I said then taking her bag I took out the scissors and the pens and the thumb tac and then gave it bag to her.                                                                                                                                                                                          " okay" Izzy said with a small smile then they got up and left the bathroom and I went to my homeroom. My homeroom was nice kind of quiet but it also had Charly in it so that was amazing I sat next to them put my bag down and sighed.                                                                                              " what's up?" Charly said turning to me. I looked over at them not knowing what I should say.        " nothing." was what my mouth came out with.                                                                                                       " okay..." Charly said and just then the bell rang out and the teacher walked to the middle of the room.    and then the loudspeaker rang out.                                                                                                               " good morning students and welcome to river high, we are happy to welcome you to high school, and to some of you welcome back. this year will be the best year yet. and for today's announcements, we have chicken pot pie and carrots plus remember your milk it's the healthiest thing there.  thank you and welcome to high school."    beeeeeeeep the speaker turned off and our homeroom teacher started over expectations.                                                                    " like they said welcome to high school, I'm an ela teacher, and your homeroom teacher or crew teacher. if you have any questions feel free to ask me. Now to the not-fun part rules and expectations. You are allowed to wear hats and hoods but a phone or AirPods. and then also if you are late or you don't come to class your parents might be called."                                                        " that's a lot." Charly said leaning over and I smiled. then the bell rang and we moved on with the day all the teachers told us things like welcome, this is what we are doing this year, hi I,m, welcome to, and so on. Lunch was a mess but I was able to find a table with a few friends I still could not find Izzy, I had not seen her since I had talked to her in the bathroom. then after school when the bell rang I headed home and as I walked home I got a call and it was Izzy.              " hello" 

" hey I'm almost to your house," Izzy said and then hung up. that made me run I got to my house and saw Izzy right in front of the house swiping on her phone. As I got to the house I could see something about letters then she snapped the phone off and turned around.                                             " sorry I did not mean to scare you but want to head in." I said reaching into my bag and getting out my house keys. I unlocked the door and then walked into the house closely followed by Izzy. we went upstairs and put our stuff down in my bed and then We headed back downstairs I grabbed a pint of ice cream and then ran back upstairs and sat on my bed I opened the ice cream and handed a spoon to Izzy. we were very quiet for a long time eating the ice cream and thinking  " I need your help." Izzy finally said sharply but also quietly. I was surprised and so I put down my spoon.                                                                                                                                                                      " okay what's up." I said looking at her, her head was still not looking up at me and then she said something that I never wanted to her to say                                                                                                               " my brain hates me, I don't think I can make it another day." Izzy said taking a spoonful of ice cream to stop them from crying. i stopped what I was doing and looked at Izzy then grabbed their hand.