Promising Young Woman

You are such a Promising Young Woman; Do all your schoolwork to perfection and submit it on time; Study into the wee hours of the night and get eight hours of sleep; Be involved in your community and join a sorority; Promising Young Woman is deeply committed to the betterment of society; She attends every event and stays from the start until the end; Get a job; Be the best employee and do it with a smile on your face; Smile at the leering old men making comments about your body and fire back; Promising Young Woman is full of fire; Go and socialize after work with your coworkers or your friends; There are twenty-four hours in a day, plenty of time to do everything; Promising Young Woman is always down for a good time; But don't forget your studies and to keep up your grades so you can stay involved in the organizations you love to be in;

I am so tired.

How are you tired? You are in the prime of your life; Are you depressed? Promising Young Woman is never depressed; There is no time; She is always on the move and never takes a moment to lay down; Promising Young Woman smiles at everyone in the grocery store; She handles all the heavy lifting without complaint; She goes home and dutifully cooks her meals; All nutritious; You are what you eat and Promising Young Woman is not the junk like the food that is easiest to acquire when one is busy; Clean the dishes; Clean the entire apartment; Promising Young Woman always keeps things tidy; Life is like a house; It is full of things and it must be kept organized; Go to the gym; Work out for an hour; Work on your arms, your stomach, your legs, your ass; Everything must look toned and gorgeous; Working out is good and good for Promising Young Woman; Go home and shower; Blow dry and curl your hair to perfection. Makeup must always look clean and refreshing. Highlight the apples of your cheeks with blush and don't wear too much eye makeup; Promising Young Woman doesn't wear makeup that makes her look like a goth or a whore; Men like women who don't wear much makeup; Are you seeing anyone lately?

No, I haven't had much time.

You are in the prime of your life, how is there no time? Promising Young Woman should always have promising suitors; No, not him; Not him either; These prospects are unsuitable for a Promising Young Woman; You should have boys lining up around the block for you; You are such a Promising Young Woman, I find it hard to believe;

I'm going on a few dates this week, isn't that exciting?

A few dates? What are you, a tease? Promising Young Woman never leads boys on; Promising Young Woman only talks to one boy at a time; You like being single? But relationships are so fulfilling; I dated all sorts of boys when I was your age; Don't date too many boys, a Promising Young Woman like you is not a slut; What will people think if they know you do that? Boys shouldn't be a focus in Promising Young Woman's life anyway; Promising Young Woman puts school and her sorority and her job and her philanthropy and her health before worrying about any of that;

I'm burnt out.

Burnt out? You don't even know the real world yet; Promising Young Woman, you aren't even a real adult yet; You still have to graduate college with a 4.0 while being the president of your sorority and multiple campus organizations; You have yet to finish that fundraising campaign for your favourite charity; You still have work to go to and socialize after with your friends and coworkers; You have plenty of life to live with all your commitments and your boyfriend on top of that; I bet it's that phone of yours making you so lazy; You mean to say after all you do that you are really going to be the kind of person who is tired so easily? You are such a Promising Young Woman, you're letting your life waste away;