Things I Have Learned Today

Your Place or Mine, Newlywed Edition

In modern times, it is quite common for young couples to try to set up their own household when the get married. They want the privacy to spend quality time alone and to establish a home that they can call their own. In Joseon times, it was more common to live with their parents. Considering the marriage age for men was 15-years of age and 14-years for women (could be lowered to 12-years old if either one had a chronically ill or elderly parent), it was probably best that there were actual grown-ups running the house.

Originally, the groom would move in with the wife's family in a practice known as cheogasali (처가살이). The husband would stay there while commuting back and forth between his wife's family and his own family as needed. This would continue until their first child was around 5 or 6 years old. Depending on how quickly the bride got pregnant, this could mean the husband lived with his in-laws for years.

In the 18th century, sijibgasali (시집살이) became popular among the commoners. In this case, the bride would be the one that moved into her husband's family home with no back-and-forth. It did allow for more stability, but it also meant the wife would 'lose' her family much sooner.

For the royal family, they set up their own practice called Chinyeongje (친영제) in 1435. Here, the groom merely fetched the bride after the wedding ceremony. After all, it would be difficult for a king or prince to not sleep in the palace and travel to court for 5+ years. Four hundred years later, in 1718, when King Gyeongjong married his second wife, Queen Seonui, they decided to adapted a Chinese tradition called Banchinyeongje (반친영제, 半親迎制). Commonly known as samilsinhaengje (삼일신행제, 三日新行制) because the wedding journey for the bride would only take place three days after the couple was declared husband and wife.