Flightless Birds

Awkward greetings

"CUT." Yells the infurited director, also known by the name of Kathy. It's the final scene of another c- list movie. Kathy quickly dismisses everyone from the set. She's pissed and it's time to leave. She's not about all those sappy good-byes, 'it was lovely working with you' kind of endings. It's never been that way with her.
You DO NOT mess with Kathy. Or any director for that matter. The only way you may speak to the director is if they initiate interest. You look up and they're staring intently at you, you get your ass over there as fast as possible and see what they need. They're your king. Or queen. You bend over backwards for this person. Even if you loathe them. 'This is how show bizz works, kid. ' You will hear this until you finally understand how the entertainment business works. Which is never. No one fully understands 'Show bizz' except for the directors and higher ups. The celebrities are just there to say lines and look good. The assistants, props to us. We get shit done and we clean the mess up later. Literally and figuratively. We are assigned to rich, stuck up celebrities to fetch their Evian water and a moist towelettes. We cater them to their every last want and need. Even after hours.
This week we begin a new film. Something to do with World War two. It stars Keira Knightly, Tom Hiddleston, Jessica Alba, Liam Hemsworth, and countless others. I, of course was assigned a main character, played by no other than the super charming Tom Hiddleston. Let's hope those words will still be useful for his description. No other celebrity has been able to live up to their lovely descriptions. I have no doubt that Tom will be the same. They're all alike after all. They've had the taste of fame that fueled their hunger to where it became desperation and gained the crazed attitude that came as a side. I get to spend a 'one on one' with this 'charming' Tom Hiddleston today. Taking him on a tour around the studio, showing him his dressing room, and everything else in between.

It's early in the morning. Like 4:30 a.m. early. I catch a ride on a golf cart from the parking lot to the studio. Almost everyone has arrived. I'm one of the last few to arrive late. Everyone stands around like mindless zombies until the last few crew members arrive. A few minutes later the last two slackers come scrambling in.
Kathy pulls her director's chair into the middle of the floor and sits. We all encircle her.
" All right everybody, Listen up." She starts out saying. " We're going to be working with some very important people for the next few months. From now on you have no life besides this job. You miss your family? That's too bad. Leave now if you want to see your family because the people around you are now your family."
A few people shift their weight from one leg to another. There's tension. Kathy spots it immediately.
" You." She points to the man three people to the right of me. " Do you have an issue with this?"
He clears his throat. " No ma'am."
She smirks. " Strike one, you lied. Strike two, you called me ma'am. You have one more strike and you're done. You can choose to leave now, or later." She presses her hands together. "Which will it be?"
He laughs and shakes his head. " Fuck this shit!" He turns to the door and leaves. A few people hesitantly follow behind him.
She smiles. " As for the rest of you, I assume you're all my aged wine. This isn't your first battle, so get to work. Your assigned person is in their dressing room." She claps her hands. " Now get this show on the road!"
Everyone begins cheering then running toward their assigned dressing room.
" Sophie."
I stop in my tracks and head back to Kathy.
" I'm glad to see your face again. You're the least worst after all."
I roll my eyes and laugh. " Thanks so much Kathy. You're not so bad yourself."
She lets out a loud cackle. "That's what I keep telling myself!"
I smile at her and leave to the direction of Tom's dressing room. It always amazes me that I somehow ended up being one of Kathy's most trusted and favorite assistants. I thought I had screwed everything up but it turns out I actually did quite well.
I knock on the flimsy R.V. door and wait for one of the hair or makeup artists to open it.
" Heeelllloooo?"
I know imediately that it's Steve, one of New York's finest hair dressers.
"Open up Steve." I shout.
The door swings open, displaying a tall, lean brunette man with piercing ice blue eyes. " Ah, the wonderful and elegant Sophie."
I give him a big hug. " I'm glad we're on the same team again. Do I still hold up to my description?"
" More than ever my love!" He gleams. " What about me?"
I look him up and down, pretending to give him doubt when there clearly is none. " The fabulously handsome Steve." I nod. "Yup, still fits!"
He walks back up the tiny steps into the trailer. " Come in and meet the hunk we get to work with!"
I roll my eyes. " Looks won't make up for an awful attitude."
He shrugs his shoulders. " No, but looks and an incredible english accent might. Besides, from what I can tell, he's an complete angel!"
I step into the trailer and await the yell from a high maintence actor. Steve leads me through the narrow trailer over to the makeup and hair table where they are already preparing him for filming.
" Tom, this is the lovely Sophie we were telling you about!" Steve says to him.
He turns around in his chair, looking at my tall, lanky body then to my face. " I'm glad you could make it." He says in his smooth english accent. " I was beginning to think I may have run you off."
I give a polite smile. " Oh of course not. I spoke to Kathy for a bit before coming here. I also just love giving new actors and actresses the suspense of meeting me."
He laughs. " Well from the way they described you, I couldn't imagine someone more perfect to work with!"
I feel my insides turn against me as I feel my cheeks burn with flatter. " I just hope I can live up to your expectations." I joke.
" Oh I hope so too!" He chuckles. " I am feeling a bit parched though, do you mind grabbing my water out of my bag for me?"
I internally roll my eyes. " I can make a run to the cafeteria and grab a refrigerated one if you prefer."
" Either will do really." He says in a charmingly manner that melts my insides. He turns to Steve and Chelsea (The makeup guru). " Would you two like anything?"
" I could kill for an Iced Frappe." Chelsea chimes in.
" You know what I like honey." Steve says.
" Alright then!" I say clapping my hands together. " Two waters, One Iced Frappe and a hot tea with lemon and two sugars. Is there anything else I need to pick up?"
" Oh! I'm going to need some more cotton pads." Chelsea blurts out.
" That's all from us." Steve says.
I nod and exit the trailer. I grab a ride on a golf cart and jump off at the cafeteria. I get what is needed then head over to the makeup department and find cotton pads. I walk back to the trailer. I open the door and hear Chelsea belting out the lyrics to a Taylor Swift song. I cringe. I walk in and see Steve working on Tom's hair. Tom looking clearly uncomfortable with Chelsea's singing, is listening to his own music on his phone.
" I brought back the goods." I yell over the music.
Chelsea turns off the music and runs over to me, snatching her Frappe and plopping down onto the sofa.
Steve puts down his tools and walks up to me, Tom following behind.
" Thanks doll." He sits down beside Chelsea, sipping slowly on his tea.
Tom flashes a grin at me. " Thank you very much." He says.
" It's no trouble at all. I mean it is my job." I say smiling back.
"Well then I won't feel so bad putting you to work then!" He laughs.
I laugh nervously. Even his laugh is intimidatingly handsome. "Don't feel bad! It's seriously no trouble at all."
He shrugs and laughs. " You brought this on yourself! For your second task, please open up this stubborn lid." He hands me his water bottle.
I take it from him, carefully avoiding the possibility of touching his hand. I begin twisting. The stupid lid won't budge. I try again. Nothing. The third time will be a charm. I must have loosened it up a bit! I try again, this time sticking my elbow out super far and giving it a quick jerk. It's off! I jump up and down in excitement, forgetting for a split second that I have an open water bottle in my hand. Water splashes all over my face and splatting onto Tom's shirt.
I jump up in shock from the cold water hitting my face which sends the remainder water flying onto me and Tom.
He quickly grabs the bottle out of my hands. " You're more trouble than it's worth." He teases.
I look at his shirt and cringe. It's a light blue button down that is more than halfway soaked and revealing his VERY sculpted torso. I run into the tiny bathroom and grab a towel. I hand it to him. " I'm so sorry!" I exclaim. "I really like challenges and completing the task and someti-"
He lets out a loud laugh. " No worries love! It's not like I haven't been in a wet T-shirt contest before." He looks down at me and winks. " But I think you may have won."
I look down at my shirt. My white v-neck is indeed soaking wet and exposing my white, lace bra. This would happen.
Get your shit together Sophie!