Roommates | Enemies to Lovers

3

The first few weeks were hard man...

I would never go back to the States. But still, I didnt like it here either. I felt horrible, somehow useless. It wasnt a nice feeling. I felt like i was just annoying everyone. I don't want that. I wanted to find friends here in Spain so bad. But still, i feel like everone hates me.

Rebecca had moved out so I dont have anyone I could really talk to. Evan and I mostly ignored each other and Noah wasnt home that much and rather spemt time with his girlfriend. I wouldnt talk to him either anyways so I didnt even mind.

For the whole entire day I was laying in bed, not talking to anyone, not coming out of my room once. Honestly I just cried a lot.

And i dont know how it happened...but I started to drink a lot of wine again. I'd picked that habit up about a few months ago when things at home started to get really bad. I pretty much always drank when I wanted to shut down my thoughts and feelings. I judt felt so lonely all the time.

In moments like that I'd just sit down on my tiny balcony with a bottle of wine and watch the traffic.

But now I was kinda hungry since it was already like three o clock. So I walked out of my room. Still in sweatpants and sweater, my face probably red and puffy from all the crying. And my eyes probably looked almost dead from the lack of sleep and all the alcohol.

I knew that there was only Evan at home...which was why I was kinda scared to go out of my room. I just didnt want him to make any comments.

I knew I wouldnt handle them. I would probably just start to cry again...

I walked into the living room and already saw Evan sitting on the couch. What was he doing there anyways?

"I heard you crying all day", he stated.

I just decided to ignore him, trying to look as sober as possible.

"Oh so youre just ignoring me, Millie?", he asked, just to provoke me even more.

But i couldnt handle that now.

I just stopped walking and turned around again and looked him dead in the eyes. I really tried not to burst out into tears. I really tried my best...but then suddenly started to cry again. Yes, right in front of him....

I know there was this rule. But does it count when he litterely invests on it? Like, its obvious that he wants to make me cry.

"I know you hate me. But cant you shut your mouth for one second when you see that I'm obviously not feeling well?", I sobbed desperately. "Just please dont call me Millie."

Somehow my tone was very calm even though i just wanted to slap him right into the face.

I think it was because i was so exhausted. I probably looked so horrible and weak right now. But I didnt care.

"What happened?", he then asked. Suddenly a lot softer which was confusing. So confusing...

"Nothing happened! I just hate it here. But I hate my old home even more. And it sucks. I mean I dont even have a nice roommate that would shut his mouth for one second and—"

"Come here."

I blinked. He blinked back.

"What?"

"Come here", he repeated, even though he knew I've heard him the first time.

"Where?", I asked upset.

"Here", he sighted and opened his arms for me. But it was just so confusing.

"No", I choked and somehow started to cry even harder. "No."

I actually wanted to be held so bad. I needed a hug. Just one. But by someone who actually likes me and maybe genually cares abou me, not by someone who apparently enjoys seeing me at my weakest and likes to provoke me until i completely lose it.