𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 || Cillian Murphy ¹

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒯𝑒𝓃

Cillian sat in Auden's small office as his son slept peacefully in his lap. He sat across the room from Auden on a plush green leather couch. The lights to her office were off, however the natural light coming through the windows gave the room a nice ambiance. It was mildly comfortable, but he noticed wear and tear around the edges and a small hole on armrest. He couldn't help but fidget with it, growing anxious at the silence in the room.

Auden sat across from Cillian at her large oak desk, scrolling through her desktop. Her hair was up in a messy bun, with strands flying in every direction. She had her hand resting under her chin as she worked. Cillian loved the sight of her. His hands twitched to push the strands back behind her ears so he could see her fully.

He was unsure what exactly she was doing but he sensed that she was trying to look busy to avoid his gaze. He wondered if she was thought about last night. Cillian had completely disregarded his "professionalism" rules, but he wasn't going to apologize for his advances on her. He also wasn't going to bring it up either. Auden would speak her mind if she had an issue.

"Why are you staring at me?" Auden's voice came out soft, trying hard not to wake up Charlie.

Cillian stuttered, moving his gaze around burnt orange walls of her office, "Uh, I-I just think you have a nice office."

"My office is actually quite ugly," Auden shifted her head toward him, a strand of hair falling into her eyes. She pushed it back behind her ear. Auden had a point - the orange walls did not look good with the tattered couch.

Cillian decided to change the subject, "Who's that?" He asked, nudging his head towards a picture in a blue frame that was sitting on her desk. The image was of an older man with salt and pepper hair and a full beard.

Auden glanced at the photo, her expression hardening as she turned the image towards her. "That's my dad."

"What does he think of all this? Living across the pond and whatnot?" Cillian gestured around the room.

Auden swallowed; her eyes remained locked on her desktop screen, but her hand gripping the computer's mouse had stopped moving. She began chewing on the inside of her cheek, "I'm not sure."

Cillian gave her a confused look, "Well, why don't you ask?"

"My father is dead," Auden said flatly, her eyes refusing to look at him.

An awkward tension quickly filled the room as Auden's words hung in the air. Cillian had no clue that Auden's father was dead. She had always spoke about him as if he was still around. "I-I didn't know." Cillian stuttered.

Auden finally moved her eyes towards him. "Please don't say you're sorry. It really doesn't mean anything when you do. I hate when people apologize when I mention it."

Cillian knew the feeling all too well. People in his life had given him their sympathies regarding his divorce. But no one offered comfort. Many often-blamed Cillian for his failing marriage. His job took him away from home for months, but he did it all to provide for Charlie. No one understood that. He found himself alone with his guilt, the feeling of failure, and emotional grief of losing someone. "I feel the same way about my divorce," Cillian responded meekly.

"Were you guys together long?" Auden had stood up from her desk chair. She leaned her hip into the side of the desk and crossed her arms as she looked down curiously at Cillian.

"Almost 25 years."

Auden's eyebrows shot up as she gave Cillian a surprised look, "That's a long time to be with someone."

Cillian cleared his throat as the feeling of sadness began to creep over him. He shifted in the chair to shake the feeling away, which caused Charlie to stir in his lap. He looked down at his sleeping son, his dark hair covered his face. He looked so peaceful. It was childhood peace that Cillian wish he could experience again. Cillian brushed Charlie's hair from his face gently, revealing his soft cheeks and long eyelashes. Charlie certainly had his father's appearance.

"He looks so calm," Auden spoke, as if she was reading Cillian's mind.

Cillian nodded once, still watching Charlie's slow breaths moving in and out. Cillian's head was bent, making his hair fall over to cover his eyes. He wondered how his young son's mind comprehended the divorce. He hoped that Charlie did not feel that he was at fault - Cillian had read somewhere that children often blame themselves for their parents separating. Guilt began seeping into his chest at the thought of what his son possibly feeling like he did something wrong, when in fact it was Cillian's inability to be a decent husband.

Cillian was normally able to swallow the feelings of failure regarding his marriage but being around Charlie always stirred up a wave of emotion for him. It also didn't help that he was exhausted and still slightly hungover from the night before. Cillian felt a lump begin to form in his throat. Charlie didn't deserve a broken family but that's what Cillian was giving him.

Cillian was too caught up in his thoughts to notice that Auden had moved towards him and was squatting so she was eye level in front of them. Her sweet rosy scent filled Cillian's nose. Cillian fought against his building tears as Auden's close presence pushed the invisible gate holding his emotions back. "Hey," She whispered, "Are you alright?"

Cillian refused to look up at her, fearing his face would give away that he was pushing back tears. Sometimes the reality of his divorce came crushing down on him, and the grief of his past relationship caused him to spiral into a break down. But he wouldn't do that in front of Auden.

Suddenly, Cillian felt warm fingertips touch his forehead. Her touch felt like tiny electric shocks flowing through his skin. The dark curtain of his hair was pushed to the side, as Auden's slim fingers trailed to the side of his face and under his chin. She gently pushed his head up, and his eyes locked with her deep green ones. Auden's auburn brows were drawn together in concern as she brushed away a single tear that had broken through Cillian's defense.

Charlie barely woke as Auden gently scooped up his small body and placed him on the empty spot on the couch. Auden's green eyes never left Cillian's as she placed her knees on the floor in front of him. More tears began to slowly fall from his eyes, and he grew increasingly frustrated that he couldn't stop them. Cillian opened his mouth to say something, but Auden lifted her hand again, pressing a single finger to his lips. She shook her head, "It's okay," Auden whispered.

Her arms traveled behind his neck, and she pulled Cillian towards her body. It was the final straw for Cillian. Something inside of him broke and a rush of tears spilled down his cheeks, wetting her shirt. He wrapped his arms around her small frame, drinking in the scent of her as he cried. As Auden stroked his hair, he gripped her tighter wanting her body to melt into the curve of his. He needed to know this was real and not a dream.

It was like Auden knew in that moment what Cillian needed. Without a word, she had comprehended and accepted the complexity of his mental being. Her embrace told him that she understood how he was feeling. He was not alone after all.