Droplets On Heliotropes [Wanderer x Reader]

I

It was as if he was turned to stone. He couldn't move, despite not being restrained other than being locked up in this chamber, he could not, for the life of him, tear his gaze from you.

It wasn't like he was not used to this. He often caught himself staring at you and taking a little too much time before he tore his gaze away. It always were the little things, the small gestures you made, like brushing your hair out of your face, your lips curling up into a smile whenever someone said something funny, the determined look in your eyes and the knit of your eyebrows when you set out to do a job. The way your hands worked when you healed wounds. The light scowl on your face whenever he was rude. The way the sun reflected in your hair. How your eyes lit up whenever he struck up a conversation with you.

Illiums's words echoed in his head.

"Even a blind person can see that you love her."

But unlike in all those moments where he couldn't look away out of adoration, now he couldn't due to sheer terror.

He could see your changing emotions in your face, he could see the shock that you felt because his actions. The rage. The disgust.

You were disgusted with him, just like you should be.

It tore him apart.

And then, suddenly, the wall he was pressing himself against gave in. It opened up, into the room where you were standing. With the loss of the sudden support, he fell to his knees, right in front of you.

There was no strength left in him. He could do nothing but look up at you with his tear-streaked face and half-open mouth, not even words left him as he just could not think of anything he wanted to say to you.

"Wanderer," you asked him with a voice devoid of emotions. "Is this all... true?"

He wanted to lie to you, to tell you that none of it was, none of it had happened, Illium was manipulating you. But he couldn't.

And you saw it in his face, that every single one of these memories was, in fact, the truth.

Your gaze hardened, any semblance of affection that he had once seen in them was gone. And your next words tore his heart apart, hurting more than the slice of your spear that followed them, so much more that he was almost glad you had decided to end his pitiful life.

"You are a monster. I hate you."

.

❊

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The simplest way to describe him would be - rude. Indeed, he was just plain rude, not only to you, for whom he actually managed to put a wisp of respect on his usual comments (undoubtedly at Lesser Lord Kusanali's request), but especially to your subordinates, his colleagues. In turn, he earned nothing but complaints from them, so much so that Rana had even asked you why you just couldn't send him back to Sumeru City.

"Because Lesser Lord Kusanali told us to incorporate him," you had told her. "His skills are highly valuable to our cause, and we might be the only people he can be of use with." That had been the truth, of course, but only you knew that if was not the only reason. Yes, you did follow Kusanali's orders as a special division and would do anything she asked you to, but even if she hadn't, you'd have found a reason to get close to him. Because he had captivated you.