Mind the Bleep

4 | One-O-One

"Anything else? Maybe you'd like to slice me open and take my kidney as well?" Caliana grumbled under her breath as she clamoured around juggling four patients' medical notes and five drug charts on her right knee, all whilst attempting to jot down the summary from Isaac's speedy ward round. She was all but convinced that Isaac expected his foundation doctors to sprout out at least four or five additional limbs.

"That's quite alright, Doctor Monsoon. As generous of an offer that is, I'll decline for now." He scratched his chin as she scurried after him to the next patient. "Although, high blood pressure does run in my family, so I'll keep you in mind should I need one in the future."

Caliana scowled in response. It had been three protracted days since she'd officially commenced working as a foundation doctor, but she had half a mind to contact human resources and inform them that a more accurate job title would be glorified secretary to Doctor Isaac Rhys given the amount of documentation the job required, with an occasional cannula insertion here and there.

After their dispute in his office a mere few days earlier, she'd dropped him a text message so he'd have her number, and he'd promptly answered within seconds with a document linked to his message, labelled "Guide to resuscitation: for dummies." She'd felt marginally better when she'd discovered that was the actual name of the document, and he hadn't called her a dummy, but she'd still had to resist the urge to call on sick on the first day.

The most agonising part of her involuntary pairing with Isaac was that he was truly an outstanding doctor. She was left wondering if he had ever made an erroneous decision in his working life. His apparent perfection was nauseating, and every snide remark accompanied by his signature cocky smirk only irked her further, until she was left wanting to slap the expression from his face.

"Oh, is that my Susie?!" A scratchy, piercing voice awoke Caliana from her reverie; the unquestionable sound of a Zimmer frame clanking against the mopped floor sounded from behind them. The elderly woman had a wizened face with a malaligned yet overjoyed toothy grin carved across her mouth, and both eyes were a clouded grey with probable cataracts. Her movements were rather inflexible and slowed as she hobbled over to the nursing station. Her zimmer frame barged into Caliana's calf as she finally reached the two doctors.

"Ow!" Caliana whimpered, bending down to caress the area of skin where the metal frame had collided.

"Susie, sweetie, you've lost so much weight recently. Please tell me you haven't been on one of those fad tomato juice diets that these models go on nowadays?" She gasped. "You're not trying to impress a boy, are you?"

"This isn't your granddaughter, Peggy. This is one of my new doctors, Caliana Monsoon." Isaac half-heartedly explained, scribbling in a set of notes.

"As I was saying," the elderly woman continued, acting as though Isaac hadn't even spoken. "As my mother — may God bless her soul— always used to say, meat is for man and bone is for dog. Isn't that right, Isaac, dear?"

Isaac heaved a deep sigh, peering down at the elderly woman. He faltered, no reply emerging from between his lips, and so the woman promptly rammed her frame against his leg a second time.

He barely flinched. "I think Doctor Monsoon looks...perfectly adequate the way she is." Caliana averted her gaze as she witnessed his eyes complete a swift sweep over the length of her body. He emitted an uneasy cough. "Peggy, we're still on the ward round, so if you could just—"

"I'd like to spend some time with my granddaughter. That's not a crime, is it?"

"I'm not your — Oh." Caliana felt her body becoming enveloped within the older woman's tight grip. The action cast a familiar heat within her; the hippocampus within her brain ignited with the memory of her mother's hugs. She didn't have the heart to haul the woman away.