Chapter 9

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Imogen

I was behind the counter talking to Annie, my co-worker, about our manager's instructions when Nate walked into the store.

He headed straight to where I stood behind the counter. I couldn't help standing upright as soon as I saw him and my entire body filled with tension, wondering what he came here for and what he wanted to do.

"Hi," He said in a weird quiet way, as though he was nervous.

"Hi." I didn't know what else to say.

Seeing him in the store was kinda weird and surprising.

After a moment of awkward silence, he asked, "Can I talk to you alone for a second?"

"Ginny, go ahead, I'll stay here and call you if I need your help," When I was silently trying to think of a way to refuse politely, my coworker Annie graciously replied on my behalf while staring at Nate and me with her usual 'I want all the gossip,' look.

I wanted to glare at her but decided not to even though I wished she had allowed me to make an excuse to refuse Nate's request instead of replying him.

"Thanks," Nate said, shooting Annie a thankful smile that probably melted her insides like it had many other members of the female species.

Seeing her awkward dreamy smile, I glared at her. Then I took a deep breath and went around the counter, schooling my features and getting ready for whatever Nate was going to throw at me in trepidation.

"Come on." He grabbed my hand and said, "Take me somewhere we can talk about very private stuff."

Somehow, his statement was like Tom's before we had that gut-wrenching conversation yesterday. And I couldn't help getting apprehensive, wondering what he wanted to say.

I sighed and led him to the back of the store to the alleyway where Annie and my other co-worker took their smoke breaks.

I sat on the bench just beside the door of the store while Nate stood opposite me, leaning against the wall as he stared at me for several disconcerting seconds.

"I saw you...I saw you going into the woods with Tom." He said.

My heart beat faster as I held my breath for about twenty seconds, hoping and praying Nate hadn't followed us into the woods yesterday.

Trying my best to look casual and unbothered, I answered carelessly, "We went to have a quickie."

Usually, Nate would have sneered at me and believed me when he heard such words. But this time, he wasn't buying it.

Instead, his jaw clenched and his eyes blazed in anger. "Don't fucking lie to me, Ginny!"

He paused to collect himself and stared at me for a few seconds before commenting, "This is what you've been doing all this time, isn't it? I accuse you of something, and you confirm it regardless of whether or not it's true, just to hide your secrets."

Since I had nothing to say to refute that truth, we stared at each other for a few seconds of heated silence until he spoke again. "I heard everything."

I looked away from him and stood up to pace, but he pushed away from the wall at the same time and walked forward suddenly, causing me to move back until my back was against the wall. Then he held my chin and forced me to look into his eyes even as I tried to avoid his earnest gaze.

"You should have told me! I feel incompetent, I feel useless, I'm ashamed, I feel terrible. I fucking hate myself for everything I put you through. To know what you were facing at home, while everyone at school was condemning you for always sleeping over at Luke's house and those other guys' house. But it was never really about sex to you, was it? It was your means of survival."

I looked away sharply even as tears filled my eyes. "Forget what you heard, Nate. I don't need your pity."

Nate held my chin up and held my gaze. "You think I pity you...no, I loathe myself. I don't know how you're ever going to forgive me for all I've done and said to you, but if it's going to take me my whole life to do it, then I will. Just, please, don't give up on me."

I looked away for a few seconds, took a deep breath, and then stared him in the eye. "Nate, you don't have to do this. Listen, I'm not worth it, okay? I'm damaged goods. Most nights, I have nightmares. I panic during sex sometimes, and I...I just don't think I can do it. Let me go with Tom, and you can mate with Harriet or that other Fiona girl like you always wanted to."

"I..." He tried to say.

"Listen, I can't be Luna. I'll be bad for the pack. Everyone hates me, and they would probably think I seduced you or something. Think about the good of the pack."

He turned away from me, leaving me to stare at his back, before spinning around to face me with blazing green eyes. "Damn the good of the pack! I don't care about the good of the pack! I care about you! Just give me a chance."

I started trembling in anger and I couldn't control myself as I poured out all the resentment I'd stored up. "You hypocrite! You found out the truth, and you think we can sweep it all under the rug? Damn the good of the same pack you put before me when you rejected me?! I'm leaving this pack and there's nothing you can do about it. I won't let you hurt me again the way you hurt me before. I gave you many chances...I thought you would prove my father wrong. That, as my mate, you would follow the strength of our bond to find the truth, but you didn't, did you? You took everything at face value."

I angrily wiped my tears with the back of my hand before continuing, "You treated me like a whore, called me a slut, a whore, or your booty call whenever you could. At least Luke never saw the need to remind me of what he thought of me when we were together. But you made me feel even more worthless than my father does. You kissed Harriet almost every day, but when I wanted to make out with you, you would tell me you couldn't kiss me because you didn't know where my mouth had been. When I found you, I stopped having sex with anybody other than you. But you sleep around whenever I'm unavailable, and you even scent-marked Harriet and promised to mate her...I can't ever trust you again. Whenever I see you, instead of feeling at ease, my walls go up. And I square my shoulders to prepare for your next sneer, insult, and our next war."

"I...I didn't scent-mark Harriet. The night we slept together was a mistake. I was worried about you, you don't have a cell, so I couldn't call. So I went out and got drunk. I found Harriet in my bed the next day. I hate to see what we've become, but please do things differently than I did and give me a second chance." He said with a pleading expression that I'd never seen on him before.

Even though I wanted to cave, I stopped myself. I had to be absolutely sure. I didn't want to end up tied to an egoistic, possessive Alpha who only cared about himself and what other people thought about him for the rest of my life. I would just have to test him thoroughly. "Goodbye, Nathan. See yourself out. You can get out that way."

I pointed down the alleyway, walked into the store, and slammed the backdoor closed behind me so he wouldn't follow me.

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