ALREADY OVER, jin sunho

i.

"My Heart is So Full Of You, I Can Hardly Call it My Own."

Jin Sunho isn't a still picture of a wave about to crash the rocket shores. He is a cold splash on a scorching hot day in the summer, a fresh flow that feels so good when it's happening. Sunho is the muscle you're swinging and it feels so nice, rubbing against your skin. That's why they fell in love with Sunho. He makes them feel nice, for a short period of time before he finds someone else to refresh and warm.

Sunho is a modern-day Don Juan, and in those perfect teeth, the words between them are his instruments of an ineluctable love hoax.

The execution of the crime of love deception is unsuspecting, if one has ever flirted with the likes of Jin Sunho. His sway is hard to escape, from his flirtatious cheekiness, to his poker-faced aloofness. But his intentions are inconspicuous, his intentions are always cold and destructive, and, for whatever reason, Sunho is not too concerned about what people think of him.

He's dead to the feelings of women, or anyone at all, because they never really mattered to him that much, never really counted to him. That's how easily he can let people enter his life without even feeling the slightest bit of emptiness when they leave.

But those who come on his radar feel the opposite. Those brief encounters between Jin Sunho and the women he plays with are etched into the hearts of his victims almost forever. He is those letters drawn onto wet sand, footprints that are left on a beach in Busan. And then, after he gets tired of them, the sea washes it away and Jin Sunho flits into the hearts of his next victim.

So who does he run home to when he's tired of them all? Where is the home he returns to over and over again when he wants to make those trifles of his less cruel, more tender, warm, less destructive?

Jang Dani's home. Where he adores and delights in doing all his cruel little things. The lovely girl that lives in it whom he hurts deliberately every time he returns to her doorstep, not at all in a sober conscience but with veins still intoxicated with alcohol.

"... Jin Sunho?" He put a little extra charm in his current stance to make up for the last time he greeted her... From the floor, and then he smiled down at her with all the warmth that he had at the moment. He probably looked strange, like a (handsome) drunk creep stalking her from a distance but she didn't shy away when he pressed a kiss onto her cheek in a familiar hello.

He was so warm it was like an aura wrapping around his body that it gave her apple cheeks a rosier tint, Sunho felt her small welcoming smile so he briefly took a whiff of her after leaving her cheek; she always smelled so clean and fresh like the wind at the beach in winter, like freedom and even the hint of a smile from her caught Sunho up in a comfortable feeling of a tight embrace.

Something he used to always have without even asking for it. With her, he felt true, accepted and warm and certain in a way that he never had felt before. Sunho liked the way Dani made him feel.

So why the hell couldn't he just have her for himself? Why couldn't he keep her and stay with just her? Suddenly all his intentions, his actions, plans and plots just seemed ridiculous.

"Come in." The colour of her voice was just right, though exhausted, her presence had radiated through him, taking root in all his abandoned corners and bringing him shelter.

He hadn't realized how unhappy and tied in knots he was until now. He didn't even care that he looked like a guilty fool staring down at her as she gently wrapped her hand around his forearm and pulled him back into her home. He waffled some sort of response, but couldn't bring to pull his eyes away from her.

There was something comforting about Dani. It wasn't the feeling of being cocooned in something warm, it was the feeling of something so important, so long-lasting and secure, that she will always be around for him. That no matter how much of an ass he could be, how much of a sybarite and reckless prick that he could be, she will never run away from him.

Her thumb caressed the triangular space between his forearm and upper arm, "what do I do with you?" She asks herself in a way as if she wasn't already accustomed to Sunho's consistent midnight visits.

He lifted his other hand to rub his red face and straighten out his bowing neck as he stumbled down into Dani's beautifully structured living room, with her help, he got through the two steps without bringing down the both of them before slumping into the soft sofa that was curved against the arched wooden panelling.

"Stay here, I'll get you some water-" Straying from the usual routine, Sunho sabotages it by pulling at Dani's forearm the same way she held his hard enough not to hurt her as she falls perfectly on top of him. She lets out a grunt, eyebrows furrowing in the cutest way possible that hurt Sunho's chest, figuratively and literally.

"Don't leave." He says, looking at Dani through downcast eyes. He felt a pang of constant emotions shoot at his heart. It was ironic for him to say, he nearly winced at his audacity to say those words to her especially.

She stared right back down at him, the restless look etched onto her features had dissipated and formed an expression that had a certain sensation in Sunho's chest to expand.

It didn't fit in the tight little box he kept in the back of his mind. The same little place where he kept the dark thoughts of his inexorable father, and his mother's unreciprocated love that led to their unhappy marriage, the need to come back to her in some guilty attempt to heal what he had already hurt.

His heartbeat quickened in his chest as she leaned down and pressed her soft lips to his. As she pulled away, she was almost surprised by the look in Sunho's eyes. The glassy stars strewn and the constellations she'd connect with them. The words that dripped gently from his lips, he shut his eyes like it pained him to do so and held her closer to him. 

"Please stay here. Don't leave."

Sunho stared back at her, fully helpless, vulnerable like her heart was every time she let him back into her embrace like he never left. And it made Sunho's heart grow, making him hate himself even more for screwing things up between them.

"How am I supposed to leave you now when you're already over?"

author's notes:
Not proof-read. Is it too much or too little?