November

NOVEMBER 6, 2009: A HIGH SCHOOL REALITY

NOVEMBER 6, 2009: A HIGH SCHOOL REALITY

1

"Emma! It's time for school." It was the voice of Emma's mother but she sounded a bit strange. It sounded a lot like her voice but it sounded a bit off, just not quite right. Yet, at the same time, she felt a sense of deep comfort and warmth.

Emma got out of bed and then realized where she was. It was her bedroom from childhood but it looked off. There were posters in her room but they were wrong.

One of them was supposed to be a poster for the band Death Cab for Cutie, instead it said Death Cab for Beauty. It was the cover of their album. The art looked the same. It was the same red and greens, a dark crisp of nature with a reflection of a city in the background. Then, Emma realized that it wasn't the correct album name. Instead of Plans, it was named Intentions. "What the fuck is going on this time?" Then, she looked in the mirror. She was her seventeen-year-old-self once again. "I don't fucking want to go back to high school." She sighed and pulled on a pair of jeans and a red and black flannel shirt.

Emma walked toward the window to see what it looked like outside. There was plenty of snow on the ground. It was the cookie-cutter suburban neighborhood she remembered. Houses mostly looked the same. It was a boring place to grow up, but it was a generally safe place to grow up. That didn't stop her from having an existential crisis every other day. She remembered that at the time she was contemplating going to Kenyon for an English Degree. It never came to fruition. Going to a state school was the more efficient, financial option. She still majored in English though.

Emma walked down the stairs to the kitchen where her mom was making eggs for breakfast. The kitchen was small but had everything one needed. "Good morning, sleepyhead," her Mom said.

"Morning, Mom," Emma said. This was far too surreal for her, being back in her childhood home with her Mother.

"Dad already left, by the way."

"Oh, okay. When will he be back?"

She laughed, "6 P.M. sharp like usual. You feeling okay?"

Emma sighed, "Yeah, I am, actually." There was some level of warmth at the idea of being back in her childhood home. She dreaded the idea of going to high school once again. That place tore her apart. It wasn't that it was all terrible. She never felt a sense that she fit in, whether it was high school or anywhere else, frankly. But in high school, everything was hyper-focused, everything was the biggest deal of all despite it not really being that big of a deal. None of it was going to matter in the long run. She tried to look in the depths of her memory and she couldn't even remember much about high school. It had mostly faded, but that only brought up more questions. She was here right now. Why couldn't she remember? Shouldn't she be the person she was here? It was nearly the same. None of it really made sense to her but she tried to take it in stride. Maybe this was an opportunity to change her high school experience.

A Corgi came darting toward Emma when she had a banana in her hand. Emma bent down and looked at her tags. Her name was Winnie. "You really are everywhere, huh?" She muttered to Winnie. They never had a Corgi when she was younger.

"What did you say, honey?" Mom asked.

Nothing," Emma replied, "just feeling a bit off today."

"What's wrong, Honey?" Her Mom sat down at the table next to her and put an arm around her. "Did something happen?"

"No, nothing happened." Emma put her piece of toast down. "Maybe I'm just tired."