I was at the park sitting on a bench, alone. Reading the book I personally wrote. I didn't even have a count on how many times I read it already. It became my habit everytime I misses him. Reminiscing the memories we shared, that in my entire life I think will never leave my mind. It became a big part of my life and one of the reason what and where I am right now.
"Let me explain, love." Riki said desperately on the other line. I'm hearing his heavy breathing indicating that he is running. I didn't answered, busy packing my things on my suitcase. I am ready to leave our condo and... him. Yes, we already living at the same roof. It was suppossed to be our anniversary but then I caught him hugging a girl. Not just an ordinary girl but the girl who I was jealous and insecured of because it has a huge crush on him. They're both famous in our university, so majority of the people there wants them to be a couple eventhough they already know that Riki and I are in a relationship. I ended the call and went out after I finished packing. One more glance at our unit who witnessed how we love each other. I didn't know that our 7 years relationship will end up like this.
One year had passed, I graduated already and now finding a new job because I resigned in my previous workplace. Since that night, I neither have news nor communication about Riki. And that's what I want. He really broke me but I know that I already moved on. That's what I thought. But then I met him again at the publishing company that hired me and we're on the same team. I want to declined the job for my sake but then I remembered my family. Maybe I will just take aside my personal feelings, I don't want to be selfish. I can't concentrate at work because I always caught him looking at me, it's really uncomfortable for me. The team found out that we're exes because of the story we both submitted. It has the same plot but with different endings. We both casual at each other, and then we became friends again. He always demands that we should talk about our past and I should let him explain. I let him and hear his side, I was hurt of his reason but I understand it.
"Can I have a second chance? I promise, I'll make it up to you." He said. I thought I don't love him anymore but then, It was just hiding. I'm contemplating to give him a chance but then my heart really beats for him only, so even I have doubt and not fully healed I break my own walls just for Riki to enter again in my life.
I gave him a chance hoping that this time he will never break my heart again. I can't take another heart break from the same person who broke my heart already. We reconciled for months. I saw that he's really serious and he really changed, but my mind keeps on telling me to be careful and I don't know why. My mind never be in peace but I didn't take it seriously. I just followed my heart, again.
I already decided to give our relationship a second chance, that I will risk again because it's Riki. My friends didn't like the idea but since it's what I want, they didn't have a choice. I want to choose him, again.
Riki reserved a table in our favorite restaurant for us to have a dinner after our office hour. And I planned to tell my answer to his question in that place. But something came up in the story that we are currently working so our team leader wants Riki to have an overtime with her. Eventhough Riki wants me to stay so that we can go together, I don't want to disturb them so I told him that I will go first in the restaurant and wait for him there.
I was in the parking lot, ready to leave, when I noticed that I didn't brought his car key with me since he insist that I should take his car and he will just book a Grab. I was in the elevator when I felt something wrong, it's also familiar and I don't want it. I was ready to push the glass door when I saw the two figures inside, sitting besides each other. Riki was focused on the screen of his laptop while typing, then Ayen, our team leader, was looking intently at Riki while talking. And the next scene that broke my heart that just in the process of healing, Ayen hold Riki to face her and kiss him deeply. Riki frozed and didn't move a bit. Ayen knows that Riki and I are exes, actually everyone in our team but Ayen is also publicly saying that she have a crush on Riki. Now I know why I felt that way, my heart hurts again, big time. Maybe I shouldn't went back so I can't witness this scene. I can't take it so I take a step backward but it's too late since Riki saw me already.
