Broken Feathers

Someone Told Me

Chapter Sixteen: Someone Told Me (Jake Bugg) 

  

I'm by the lake, I realise – it's dark and cold and the trickle of the stream rings in my ear.

Damn, I think, the visions are taking a turn for the worse. But for the last few nights, I've been dreaming of the future – of our future, and it's enough to get me through the days that I don't spend with her. I look around, frowning slightly as I hear the rustle of leaves.  

Strange, I ponder, taking a step in the direction of the noise. There's a rumble above me, like thunder, which makes no sense because it's too cold for a thunderstorm. I turn the corner, my fingers brushing against the cool stone of the Prep. And that's when I see it. See them. A man, dark haired, wearing a hood, with my Princess up against the wall.  

I go to shout, every muscle in me screaming to get them apart. But then he lets out a moan, and Star lets out a gasp not unlike those she panted when we were together. The guy moves his hips; short, deep thrusts as he grunts.   

"You're so beautiful," he says, stroking the pale blonde hair from her face. Star says nothing. She doesn't have to. The pain spears through my chest, causing me to drop to my knees, my jeans dampening quickly as the water from the ground seeps through. Everything starts to go black, the words of my Pledge ringing painfully in my ears...  

"Jesus!" Kalem exclaimed, appearing at the side of my bed. "What's wrong with you?" 

I retched into the empty space, entire body shuddering and convulsing as it tried to make sense of what just happened. The vision clouds my brain, hurts my thoughts, although it has nothing on how my scriptures burn as though on fire.  

"Th- The pledge," I managed to bite out, gripping my head tightly. The headache didn't seem to want to let up, but I could feel my eyes starting to sting out of bitter resentment. The Pledge. That had been a waste of time, hadn't it? 

"What about it?" Kalem asked, looking utterly perturbed by the current predicament. "She broke it..." I said faintly. I sat up shakily, burying my face in my hands as the words played over and over in my head. Star had broken the Pledge. Star didn't love me. Star strayed. 

"Star?" Under normal circumstances, I would have snapped at him – how many other Pledges had I been running around making? Surely he could understand what was going through my head, how everything hurt. It was as though someone had taken every dream, every small piece of hope that I had, and smashed it.  

There was nothing left. If I didn't have Star, then I had nothing. 

"Nah, man," Kalem scoffed. "I don't believe that!" 

"I had a vision," I growled, rubbing my hair. What was difficult about this for him? Surely he had racked up enough years as an angel to realise when a Pledge had been broken? "She fucked someone else, Kal..." I swallowed bitterly, trying to douse the howl of pain that was trying propel itself up my throat. The sins on my back scorched white hot, suddenly making me wish that I had never committed any of them. Hell, my biggest sin now was believing that anyone could stay with me. 

"You sure it wasn't just a dream?" 

"Think my sins would be burnin' if it was?" I asked numbly, shaking my head. It was strange. I had never gone through a break up before. I had never been cheated on. And now, the thing on the forefront of my mind was that I didn't want to wake up tomorrow. I didn't want to wake up and remember all over again that the woman that I loved, didn't actually love me. 

Love was a tricky one. Romanticists versus Realists. All along, I had thought I belonged in the latter party, but now the ebb of hurt in my chest made me reconsider that. How did people recover from this? How did people pick of the pieces when their motivation to get up in the morning, was no longer there?