My Good Friend, The Villainess

10 - Growing Pains

"Ebele?"

"Yes, child?"

It felt a bit strange, feeling her voice vibrate in my head after so long without it. Things have just been busy, very busy, with preparing to travel to the capital for the Season and Duman's Menele ceremony. I've been tugged left and right to fitting after fitting for new clothes and accessories, to help Mama with planning the personal party that will happen after Duman's ceremony is over. Things like, "What color should the decorations be?", "All of Duman's favorites have to be on the menu", "Cocktails should be fine, but I just don't know what to serve", all because I'm getting older and I'll have to know how to do all those things when I get married.

Which is... weird to think about.

"Sida dies when she's 22, right?"

"That is correct."

"Then that means when I return from Salaq after staying with mama's family, we'll both be 20. In that vision, Sida said 'You're back'. Did I go somewhere in the two years between?"

"Perhaps."

I forgot how cryptic Ebele was, perhaps she couldn't tell me, perhaps she didn't want to tell me. Either way, I suddenly had a little more to worry about. Cressida's uncle would potentially face Mora's Pox when we were 12, but I was worrying a bit less about it after Mama sent Emel out for what I can guess is an investigation. Again, there was a massive gap in my knowledge of everything. For some reason, in the future, I will stay out of Eguniel for two extra years instead of returning from Salaq. Anything could have happened in those two years, but most likely Miriam's appearance. So, like usual, I was back to square one.

I let out a sigh into the air from my seat in the back garden. I would've preferred to go walking in the orchards, but I wasn't allowed to do it alone until I was older and no one had the time to take me through. Cressida was busy back at home getting ready for the Season with Auntie Vita, so we hadn't been able to meet up in quite a while. You'd think there wouldn't be much for us to do, since we weren't old enough to go to any of the 'important' parties. Those being things like dances and dinner parties and balls. But that didn't mean we were too young for anything. We were old enough to follow our mothers when they went calling and walking, to birthday parties, tea parties, garden viewings, almost all the things that wouldn't go late into the night and primarily for our age group.

Duman was different in that way, he was about to be an adult. As soon as he took his Menele Rights and debuted, he'd be able to go do everything until the end of the Season came and he headed to Salaq for his training with mom's family. He'd even be able to start a courtship, get engaged, and then married when he came back. That was strange to think about, but it would have to happen at some point.

I wonder how Duman felt about it, becoming an adult. I knew that I didn't really like it. Being an adult meant no more fun, and you could die. And way more time spent at the tailor's getting a suit fitted since mama was so particular about that sort of thing. But getting magic and a familiar is nice. I know that Mama has a rabbit and papa has a wolf or at least a really big dog.

I think that Duman will get a bird, not a pretty one or anything, but a bird big enough to fly away and take him wherever he wants. I think he'd like a bird.

"Ebele, what kind of magic does Sida get?"

"Well, it wouldn't be a surprise if I told you."

"But you exposed what kind of magic I get. That isn't a surprise anymore."

"Only half of it, child. Only half."

"Only half?"

Ebele stopped answering after that, leaving me with my thoughts in the garden again. Are all formless people stingy with their information? Or at least 'half-baked'? I don't think that's the right word. What's it called when someone leads you on with a thing? Potato and stick? Leashing?

Duman's voice popped me out of my wonder over words and their weirdness. "There you are, do me a favor and don't invite me to your Menele Rights, in fact, convince our mother to disown me so I'm never invited to anything ever again." He fell over himself to sit down next to me with a sigh and flourish of his hands, looking sick and tired of life and all its activity.

"Was the suit fitting that bad?"

"It wasn't just the suit fitting! It was the earrings and the necklaces and the bracelets and the table settings and the invites and making sure both grandfathers could come because you just know how much they hate it when one gets to go and the other doesn't!" And he took a deep, heavy breath before continuing. "And the 'becoming a man' conversations with father whilst he's drunk a little too much bourbon and thinks that's the time to talk about 'urges' and 'girls' and 'carrying the family name'! And just... it's so much. Promise me you won't get any older."

It was strange, seeing my brother so drained of all energy. He didn't have the boyish smiley smirk he usually spouted anymore. He looked more like he was thirty and the fact that he existed and people expected him to do something with it had finally hit as he sunk deep into the bench and put his face into his hands.

"Do you not want to get older?"

"I don't know anymore. Just... just not to do this, I suppose."

"What would you want to do if not this?"

"... I'd like to have a boat."

"A big boat?"

"Big enough for a friend or two, but it doesn't have to be giant. And good enough to travel in."

"Where would you go?"

"Anywhere, everywhere. Find all sorts of nice, interesting things to bring home. All sorts of people to meet. I just think it'd be fun."

"Would you bring me back souvenirs?"

"And send letters at every port."

"... Have you talked to papa about it? Papa would buy you a boat."

And Duman looked at me with a sad sort of silly look in his eye, like I didn't understand anything but he hoped it'd stay that way.

"Yes, and he'd send me out on it before shooting it with flaming arrows and hoping I sink."

We sat in quiet for a bit after that, Duman put his hand on my head and ruffled my hair all over.

"Well, that's enough of me being a sad sucker. How was your day, Ada?"

And I told him, about the nice winds in the garden and the pretty grass and the brooch mama was promising to buy me. But it felt like he wasn't really listening. I felt like how I always felt around Duman, like his eyes were staring beyond and his mind floating on the breezes to far away places with plants and animals and people no one would ever see until he brought them to their doorsteps.

I felt like my brother was just as lost as I was, just without a little voice to tell him where to go.