All I Need For Yule Is You

Chapter 11

Oliver found him collecting his backpack from the counter, sneakers already in place. 

"Sam?" He asked, but Sam didn't stop, didn't look up, just walked past him. He felt wretched, all the happiness and laughter had drained out of him so suddenly-

"Sam, wait, please!" Oliver was walking beside him. 

Well, shit. He was not letting it go then. 

And Sam would rather do this somewhere secluded than back in the crowd, so he stopped. The light was dim here, and the canvas hid them from most of the crowd. Trees spread out behind them, the fair glowing in front. 

"I'm sorry that had to happen." Oliver was saying. 

"Yeah," Sam scoffed, before he could stop himself. "I'm sorry too."

Oliver's face screwed up, as if he was trying to swallow his emotions down. "Why are you angry at me?"

"You don't have to have my back!" Sam snapped, knowing how unfair he sounded, but not caring either way. "I just don't know what is up with you, Oliver Adler, I just can't figure you out!"

Oliver looked like he'd been punched. "What do you even mean?"

"You- we have been classmates for three years now and you have never deemed it fit to even talk to me." Sam snarled, a dam bursting. 

"I-" Oliver hesitated. "I don't talk to a lot of people, I don't- know how, "

"And now, all of a sudden you're being so kind to me!"

"I'm trying!" Oliver yelled back this time. "Is that such a bad thing?"

"You know what, maybe it isn't even you being kind, maybe I'm just making it all up in my head," Sam added, mostly to himself. He was far too gone to think about what Oliver would think of it. 

He didn't take it well. "Is that what you think of me?" He asked, poker-faced. 

"I'm sorry to be like this, except this character arc is very hard for me to deal with." Sam said. "How were you any different from the other boys before? When you came out I tried to talk to you. To be friends. To let you know you had someone - because I know how hard coming out to a group of shitty high-schoolers can be- but of course it wasn't hard for you because you're perfect! Everyone loves you. Is that why you gave me a nod back then? Just a nod?"

Oliver was even redder in the face now, and the cold air probably had nothing to do with it anymore. "I was having a bad day!"

"Oh! How so?" Sam snapped. 

"I-" Oliver hesitated again, lowering his voice. "It wasn't easy for me either."

Sam looked at him for a minute. Then rolled his eyes. "Come on, they celebrated you. Called you brave and stuff. Pretty sure everyone made badges for pride that year."

Oliver waited, as if to let Sam be done talking. "Right. No, you're right but I wanted to say that my father didn't-" He winced. "He didn't take the news well."

Oh. 

Sam didn't particularly have anything to say to that. 

He remembered how much his family had supported him. His mother, his father, cousins and aunts… 

"And it was terrible living with him in the same house, so I got a job. At my uncle's coffee shop. Even now- it's- it's not like he'll ever say anything to my face," Oliver was looking towards the trees, oddly stiff. "But it's in the room. So I've been here. Doing my job."

Sam should apologize. He should. Instead all that rose inside him was more shame and denial. "Well I didn't know that. How was I supposed to know that?"

"Well you weren't! I wasn't expecting it of you," Oliver's scowl was back. "And I'm sorry if I seemed off to you that morning with my nod."

Sam didn't like the way he was being made the shallow person here. "This isn't even about that!"

"You literally said it was about that! And I'm sorry alright? I was having a shit time at home and then this person who I've crushed on since freshman year just comes at me from nowhere- I barely even he-" Oliver stopped short. 

Or maybe Sam stopped registering. 

"What… " Sam mumbled, looking at Oliver's alarmed expression. 

"I'm sorry." Oliver's voice rose in pitch. 

Oh gods. 

Sam's brain short-circuited. This wasn't… expected. This wasn't. Did Oliver- just- maybe he misheard. He must have. It's this goddamn love potion making him hear things. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out like that, but it's true." Oliver went on. 

"What's true?" Sam re-visited. 

"I've-" Oliver hesitated, and it seemed like he was trying to gather his bearings. "I've had a crush on you since freshman year. And I'm sorry for doing this right now, like this, it's clear you don't feel the same way and -"

Sam was going to walk away from there before he combusted. 

"Sam please don't be mad, alright? I just- you used to sit in front of me all through sophomore year too and I just- well, I thought you were really cool and I wanted to be friends but it never happened because I could never gather enough courage to talk to you. But-"

"I'm not mad." Sam said, but he knew he looked it. No, he wasn't mad. But this couldn't be happening. Because the love potion would wear out and Sam would stop liking Oliver and break his heart. And his own heart. Which was already breaking right now. 

"You don't have to say anything." Oliver supplied, but he looked devastated. As devastated as Sam felt. 

"I can't right now." Sam sounded robotic to himself. He took a step back, and then another. The trees seemed to close in, or maybe he was just getting tunnel vision. "I'm sorry."

"Alright."

He couldn't look at Oliver's face. 

"I can't." He repeated, and turned on his heel, walking away.

The cold air burned his face as he walked faster, almost jogging. He didn't stop till he reached their shop. 

A/N: No one:
         Sam: *calls his crush perfect, but in like, an angry way* (he's a dumb bb I love him sm)