The stars above us

Astra Estelle (chapter 5)

It was funny while we had math. Luan was staring at me and our teacher asked him a question. Well, he didn't know the answer so the teacher said that if he wouldn't have stared at me, he would have known the answer. I'm sure that it was embarrassing for him, but I liked that he was staring at me.
When school was finished, everyone packed their stuff to go home. When Luan was ready to go, he told me that it was nice to meet me. That made me happy. I felt a little sad when he had to go. I wish I could have talked more with him. Anyways, I should go home now and tell my parents how my first day in school was. I took my backpack and walked to the hallways. Many people were there. Everyone was ready to go home and many people were taking some stuff from their locker. I was just normally looking around, but then I freezed when I saw a familiar face. It was the face that I would have never wanted to see ever again. The blonde boy that destroyed my life. I never forgot how he looked at me with his blue eyes. The way he looked at me like I was nothing but something he could use the way he wants was the most disgusting thing ever. I could feel the anger and anxiety go through my entire body.
Why is he here? Why is Evan here?
I had to hide. I ran into someone when I was running to the exit door. I couldn't even look at the person's face. Everything was so embarrassing and I didn't know what to do. I quickly told the person „sorry" that I ran into. But then I continued to run somewhere near school where no one was around. While I was running, I heard footsteps behind me that was following me. I turned around and luckily, it wasn't Evan. It was Luan. He took a quick breath and asked: „Why are you running? You just ran into me but it seems like you didn't recognize me." I don't know if I should be happy or embarrassed that he is here. When I saw Luan, it felt like I could let my emotions out and feel safe. I couldn't do anything but start crying. My hands were shaking, my eyes were filled with tears and my head was hurting because my mind was full of emotions. I felt Luan's hands on my shoulder. It was so warm. "Come sit here, I have some tissues for you" Luan's voice was so calming. I wiped away my tears with the tissues that Luan gave me, and then he asked: "Do you want to talk about it?" When he saw that I was not able to say the answer yet, he mentioned: "If you don't feel like it, then of course you don't have to." I quickly responded: "No, it's not like that... I just don't really know how to start. I'm afraid that I can't put it into words." "That's totally fine. Some things are really hard to put into words, but if you want to talk about it, then you can take as much time as you want." That was really nice from him. Yet I was still scared how he is going to react when I tell him what happened with me and Evan. But it felt like I could talk with him about that, so I started to explain him what happened: "So... I saw someone in the hallways. I know him since I was little, and uhm... I liked him." "Yes." It felt a little easier to talk with Luan about something than the others. It was probably because he was making eye contact and seemed like he was carefully listening to me. Anyways, I continued explaining: "Well, I liked him, and he liked me too. But uhm... he did..." My hands started to shake even more and I didn't know what to do. Luan took my hands: "It's okay, take your time. Everything is going to be fine." I wanted to calm down, so I took a few breaths and tried to continue again: "uhm so... one day, he asked me if I could... sleep with him... you know?" "Yes." "But uh... I was 12 years old back then. And I said no but... he just didn't stop asking and..." My eyes were filled with tears again. Luan came closer and wrapped one of his arm around my shoulder. "I'm sorry that you had to get through this. I'm sure it must have been a very hard time." I was just crying and sobbing for the next few minutes. But I somehow felt very comfortable with him.