Playing the Long Game

Episode 2: SMG4 Loses the Internet

dear smh4 and smg3,

salutation here,

thank u for applying 2 TWO OF HEARTS!!! ur applecation has ben lookd over by our many staff and we are plsed 2 say that u have been accepted!!!

filming begins 2morrow. pls show up at 0000 mushroom st by 10 am. dont be late or i (swag) will be sad :(

love,

swagmaster69696969696969696969 and Chris

×××××××

SMG3 slips his phone back into his pocket.

It's 9:59 AM on the dot. The weather on the surface world is, overall, quite agreeable. The sky above the city is dotted with fluffy clouds, and the sun bathes everything below it in a lovely warm glow. The grass is green, the city lazily bustles about, and there's surprisingly no police sirens today. Nothing about the pleasantness of the day could ever rescue the building at 0000 Mushroom Street, however, as it's clearly beyond saving.

0000 Mushroom Street is a beaten-down warehouse built from faded beige brick and cheap wood. The front sliding door hangs slightly crooked and ajar, inviting tresspassers to explore– and some certainly have, what with the graffiti decorating virtually any place on the building that an average-sized teenager could reach.

SMG3 had many ideas of what the "Two of Hearts" venue would look like, but he can't say in full confidence that this was it. He wonders if he took a wrong turn, if this was the WRONG Mushroom Street, somehow.

So, he rolls his plain black suitcase back and forth as he paces the street, waiting for a certain white-overall-wearing savior. The wheels thunk rhythmically as they roll over the cracks in the sidewalk.

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.

Why isn't SMG4 here yet? He said he would be gone for only a "couple minutes" to grab his stuff. It's been basically an hour.

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.

Maybe he should check his phone again. SMG3 trails off to a stop, leaning against a wire fence as he whips out his phone again. It's 10:00 AM now, and still no word from SMG4 on if he's even showing up at all. SMG3 wonders if he's being stood up.

May as well shoot him a text to make sure. SMG3 hammers out something quick.

"Hey, dumbass. It's 10 AM, where are you?"

He glares at the screen. Nothing. SMG3 glares harder. Still nothing. If he concentrates enough of his hateful energy into the phone, maybe SMG4 will get hit with a concentrated beam of Answer Your Fucking Phone and finally respond to his texts in a timely manner. More realistically, it gives him something better to do with his time than roll his suitcase around the sidewalk.

10:02. A glimmer of hope– SMG4 is typing.

Then he stops.

And starts again.

Stops.

SMG3 would be lying if he said this wasn't the most thrilling part of his day so far.

10:03. Activity has ceased.

Ugh. Just send the message already...

Ping!

OH MY GOD, FINALLY. SMG3 fumbles a bit at the sudden notification and almost fucking drops his phone but he manages to nab it by the corner. Thank god. He's dropped this thing way too many times already.

Instead of a normal text message, it would appear that SMG4, in his infinite wisdom, has sent SMG3 a JPEG depicting Donkey from the first Shrek movie, staring at the camera in a way that he can only describe as lascivious. Overlaid on top of it in white Impact font is "DAMN GIRL". SMG3's eyes flit down to the bottom of the image, where "GET OFF MY DICK" is written in the same font.