In the Closet

Chap.3

After a nap of four, maybe five hours, Erling woke up, feeling much better. Still dizzy about the alcohol but less than this morning. Looking at the hour, he realised the practice would end in at least 20mins. If he was quick enough, he could intercept Jude and try to talk to him if he would listen.
He dressed up quickly, exited like a child. He was happy to see Jude again, even if the man was angry at him. Just seeing him would make him happy. The weather was grey and foggy and he grabbed an umbrella before slaming the door, keys in hand.
He nearly ran in the streets, feeling the start of the rain dropping on his shoulders.

When he arrived at the stadium, he was already wet and shivering in his clothes. He was only wearing a t-shirt and a pant without any coat, and didn't open his umbrella because he was running.
He went straight to the changing room , ignoring the few peoples looking at him curiously. He must have looked weird, soaked and pink-cheeked of his little run. And of course, he was supposed to be sick.

But no one was here anymore. He checked the showers, the pitch and the lockers but everything was empty. He felt nervous and impatient and went back to the accueil. He knocked at the coach's door: Marco opened it and raised a surprised brow.

-Erling ? Weren't you supposed to take some.. rest? He looked at his clothes completely ruined by water and asked: What you doing dressed up like that under the rain? You're gonna get cold.
-I'm sorry coach i was looking for err.. the team. They are nowhere to be found.
-Well of course they are. Practice ended like.. uh half an hour ago? Almost yes.

"Half an hour?? God damn it, Jude had left since half an hour? Where was he now? Already at home?"

-Why, asked Marco ,is something wrong?
-I thought.. ins't there 10min more?
-Ah Erling, the coach giggled. We changed the schedule yesterday don't you remember ?

That was true. Erling had totally forgot because of his fight with Jude.
Shit.

-Oh fuck it, i forgot.
He began to go back outside
-Why is this so important ? Marco asked behind him.
-Nothing don't worry coach! He exclaimed as he walked away.

He finds himself outside for the second time, the torrential rain streaming down his body. He sneezed and opened his umbrella to think for a bit. Jude had probably gone home, it was too late,but he wouldn't give up like that, it was too bad, too simple. Erling had to talk to him, apologize, set things straight.
"Could I just go to his house ? And try to have a talk."
The idea motivated him and he began to run back home. He would stop just to change and therefore go to Jude's right after.
______

Jude's head was beginning to ache. He was cold and terribly sad. He wasn't angry at all to Erling, he wanted to look at him and hear his voice and see this smile on his lips he likes so much. He was happy when Erling was, feeling empty when they were not together. And now they were angry at eachother, Jude was feeling so bad, his heart was hurting him. It was not the pain of a bloody wound or a hard fall on the pitch, it was so worse, so vicious. He was feeling responsable of the fight, he wanted to know.. no, he needed to know that Erling was not angry at him, that it was fine, so fine it was already forgotten. He wanted to feel his warm and kind smile on him.

" I can't understand, he thougt. Why do i feel like that, being anxious and hurt about a stupid fight. I knew worse with Erling, so why this, why now, why.. it's as my feelings were deculped for some reason. "

He sighed and looked at his phone. Still no answer, and he had called a dozen times. He was sitting under the rain for now more than 25mins maybe.
His clothes were completely soaked, and god he was frozing, cold bitting his flesh.
______

As he was running under the rain, Erling made up in his head a list of things he absolutely needed to say to Jude. Well, he tried. Words and feelings were mixing up in his head.
" I guess, he conclued, that I'll just say anything that can pass through my head. "