The Girl in the White Dress

When she was younger, she was full with adventure and optimism, with her dark golden eyes, her dark brown flowing hair, her bright smile. All was her fairytale, until it was not. Until the world plotted against her. 

She had a rare disease that had no cure. The unknown took over her life. Her dirty feet trampling in the grass turned into clean feet sticking out of a hospital bed blanket. Her skin went pale, her eyes no longer shined, her hair was white and dry, and she was no longer dirty. 

She is a wandering soul, a soul who travels the depths of the earth, getting dirty, going on dangerous adventures. But she was inside a body that did not allow such a thing. This body did not allow adventure, dirt. What was there to live for then?

She spent her days in the hospital, wearing the same white dress, becoming thinner, emotionless and colourless. Her life seemed that it was meant to end, that there was no meaning. Her soul must have made a mistake, going into the wrong body. This life was a flop. She was a flop. A simple mistake, that could be fixed if she had just died.

She left the hospital. She went back home. She found herself staring at the tree she used to climb. A wonderful tree, hard to climb though, but she did it. It was winter, all matched herself; the pale snow, the cold temperature, the dry hair, the colourless trees. This was her now. She was no longer the wet, warm summer, but the cold dark winter. 

Without her parents knowing, she went outside, only in her white dress and her bare feet. She walked onto the porch, left the door open and paused. To think was not her way when she was younger, she would just do. So, she took a step, without thinking or analyzing anything. Her feet felt the cold wood. She took another, and another, now in the snow. The cold pulsed her feet. Just to feel something made her smile. She felt the cold on her feet! She could still feel something! Her paste got faster and faster as she went further and further from her porch, until she was not so far from the tree. She began to sprint to the tree. Her feet bouncing off the ground, her mind focusing on nothing but what she is experiencing, a smile stretched her dry face. She was herself again! This feeling of freedom made her speed even greater. 

She got to the tree and looked up. She seemed so small, so unintelligent compared to the tree. Trees knew lots, more than humans. They were the wise beings who came to protect the souls who came to experience the chaos of life. She knew the tree would do what's best. 

She began to climb the tree. Just like she did as a child. Though her body was slimmer and less strong. She continued, she was mentally her child self again, but physically she still was her winter self. She climbed and climbed, it was a hard tree to climb, but she did it. She made it to the top of the big branches. She looked out to the lake, to the winter sunrise ahead of her. How she missed this feeling of peace. This feeling of intense risk, yet it is always so worth it.

And soon, after she felt those feelings, the tree did its duty. The branch fell, and so did she. She fell looking at the sky. If she was to die, she wouldn't mind, because the last thing she would have saw and felt was the sky, was the achievement of risk. Her head hit the ground and all went black.

She woke up in a hospital bed, yet she was not all there, it felt as though she was half asleep and not entirely in her body. Her parents stood leaning down at her, crying, a doctor on a machine behind them,  the sounds of beeping. Her parents cried such thick tears. She wished they hadn't, because she did not want to live this life. She loved her parents, but the sadness they felt was not worth it to her. She did not understand. 

Her sight returned to her eyes, her soul came back fully into her physical body. She blinked and her parents hugged her immediately. They said that they were so glad that she is okay, that they thought she had died, that they were so worried. She told them that she fell from the tree, that she did die, but came back. She continued by saying that she would not be back for long. Her parents' smiles turned into faces of shock, before they could ask what she meant by that, the doctor came. He told her that she hit the back of her head very hard and her ankle. 

She was alone in the hospital room with her parents. Having no one else ever in her life, she was glad that it was them that were her last goodbyes. She did not feel anything, even though she was in her physical body, the things her body touched was not felt. She knew her parents would morn her death, she could do nothing to avoid it, she thought. She spoke to them softly, in a voice that was dry, yet wise like the trees.

She told her parents that she is a wandering soul, that this life did not allow her soul to wander, therefore it could not fulfill her purpose.

Her parents cried so hard. Not knowing what to say. They loved her so dearly and knew that she was broken when she could not get dirty in the trees. She felt their hearts ease, when they realized that maybe this was all meant to happen, that she would be happy.

She died again, in the hospital bed. Before she died, she had to come back to say goodbye, to ease her parents souls the pain. Now, she visits the earth from her spirit and visits the tree once in a while. In her life, she realized that to risk your life is to truly live, that is what she told me.

While I admired the tree she fell from, during a winter sunrise, she came beside me, in her white gown. She told me her story and I asked if I could write it, she agreed beautifully. She was so calm and peaceful, her soul felt like winter but she ventured like summer. I assume that the life she lived balanced her soul with both summer and winter. Of course, there is an infinite amount to the story, but I am limited through only words and of course it was not my own experience. I still feel her sometimes, she inspires me to take risks in life, because "To live your life is to risk it."