What Mama Don't Know

Jacobs Delusions

As I walked home, basically staring at the floor the whole walk, I couldn't help but think about the fact that my dad had a son, a real live son but was barely around in my life. "Being locked up ain't no excuse." I mumbled to myself. I honestly felt as though he just didn't want me to be a part of his life. By the time I reached my doorstep my eyes were drenched with tears. But I wiped them away, before taking a step in.

Once home, I open the front door to see Ma and Jacob sitting in the living room watching TV, "Hey, Elijah baby.'' My mom greeted me with a heart warming smile, but my heart was cold at the moment, and I think my mom could see it.

"Hey Ma." I said sadly as I walked past the two.

"Hold on bae, what's wrong." My mom asked. "Nothing." I responded almost in tears once again. My mom stood up, and walked over to me, "No, something is wrong, you're my child, I know you."

That's when a single tear dropped from my eye and my mom wrapped her arms around me tight. "Talk to me sweetheart."

I lowered my head and told her, "I ran into my dad today."

She let me go and took a step back. "Your dad!? He's supposed to be locked up. NOBODY TOLD ME HE WAS RELEASED!" She said, in an alarmed state.

"Mom, it's ok. It's ok." I told her to try to calm her down. She looked at me, "What did he do, what did he say to you?" She asked me softly.

I peaked over her shoulder to see even Jacob looking a little anxious. The last memory I have of my mother and father is of them fighting about something when I was a little boy, and my grandma coming and taking me to live with her for a couple weeks. Then a couple months later Jacob moved in with us.

"Nothing Ma, he hugged me and said he misses me, then introduced me to his son." I explained. "His son?" My mom said nearly fainting. "Yeah he got a son." Just as I spoke those words another tear dropped.

My mom immediately hugged me again, and repeatedly told me everything would be ok; as she rocked me in her arms. I hugged my mom back, with this eerie feeling that she knew it wouldn't. I was devastated to be honest but my mom kissed me on the forehead just as Christian walked in the door. I'm assuming he could sense the mood of the room as soon as he stepped in. He took one look at my face as rushed over.

"Bro you ok? What's up?" He asked. My mom answered for me. "He ran into his father today." Christian looked confused as hell, his response let us know that he was. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Read the room." Jacob blurted out. Christian chuckled, "E, I'll be in my room if you want to talk man." I glanced over at Jacob whose face looked sour as shit, then looked to Christian and nodded my head.

Eventually my mom released me and I followed Christian back to his room. Then remember that probably wasn't the best place for me right now.

I backed away from his doorway, until I hit the hallway wall. Christian looked out his room, and walked up to me taking me by the hand walking me into my room, closing the door behind us.

He immediately hugged me tight, and just like that I immediately calmed down. His hug was so warm and comforting, and he smelled nice, I could stay in this place forever with him.

He did eventually let me go and gazed in my face, wiping away a tear from my eye. "Yo soft ass." He chuckled, and so did I.

"Man fuck you." I laughed walking over to my bed, throwing my body across it. Christian came and sat down next to me.

"What's wrong? Can I know how you feel." He asked and I poured out my soul; about everything. Him, my Mom, Jacob, my Dad and my new little brother. Everything I felt at the moment he knew, and like I realized in that moment that I felt like I loved him, guilt for deceiving my mom, hated that I was sleeping with Jacob, and pain that my dad moved on in life without including me.