𝒑𝒆𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒓 ᖭི༏ᖫྀ 𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚊𝚖𝚜

chapter twenty one : our due apologies

[XXI]

"YOU HAVE to answer me right now, Finn. If this was a fucking trap, I will never forgive you. Ever."

The volume of my speech was rising almost as fast as its quality was falling, marred with a bubbling concoction of potential rage and pain. I just needed to hear it from him. He wouldn't be able to lie to me.

"Am, I swear...this is the worst coincidence ever. I'm only here for Lev, I swear."

His youthful face looked so strained, so guilty, like he had led me straight into the lion's den, and I knew he hadn't planned anything. The sheer fate was just, almost, unbelievable.

"Lev found me starving to death just South of Portland. I had headed up North in search of a new QZ after the fall of San Fran."

I didn't even question his motivations; it had been a long time since San Fran fell, so he was wise to not stay there and rot. My emotions cooled from a scorching boil to a slight simmer, and eventually dulled into a withdrawn stillness, like someone had put out my ever-blazing fire. But after a few minutes, when I realised I was still very much uncomfortably tied up, and Finn and Lev had done nothing about it, I let out an exhausted,

"Dude."

I sat there, half slumped on the hard linoleum as I stared point blank at the boy, poker faced. He didn't budge.

"I..."

He looked even more remorseful, if that was indeed possible, and Lev snuck his hand into the other's in an attempt to comfort him. I knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to tell me he could cut the ropes free, that he could grab my hand and we could live together, just like being in the San Fran QZ again. But now, he had Lev. He had someone, and that someone seemed to care for Abby, somehow. And if you were to choose between someone you used to know and had, inadvertently, left you for dead, or someone you had current, deep feelings for, it's easy to guess what your choice would be. Finn was choosing to stay with Lev, for now. Abby had only tied me up, and I knew if she tried anything more, Finn wouldn't be okay with it. But he was in a precarious situation at that moment, and I was okay with the choice he had made.

He looked pained as he muttered, "I won't let her hurt you, Am. If she tries anything, I swear I'll protect you."

I smiled sadly. This fourteen-year-old boy, battered and bruised by the world, and now with the risk of losing his first relationship, still wanted to be the one who protected me.

"Don't worry, Finn. She won't lay a finger on her. Not even if Amelia fires first."

Lev looked at me like I was some strange sensation, diluted perhaps by my affiliation to Finn, but nonetheless present.

If Abby had an inclination that I was immune, of course she would want me alive. Completing her father's life's work must have been at the top of her list...

...After murdering Joel, of course.

Motherfucker.

"It's okay," I said. I felt a little defeated, but not betrayed. I didn't think Finn had the capacity to betray me, only to make difficult decisions and try to choose the lesser evil. And I guess, keeping me here for now, was the lesser evil. I allowed myself to relax a little for the first time in days, exhaling deeply and leaning my head gently against the stone pillar I was tied to. I was really fucking tired.

Peripherally, I could feel Finn's presence as he sat himself, cross legged, on the ground opposite me, shuffling towards me and setting his skinny arms behind him, leaning back on them slightly. Lev joined him.