Back to the Beginning (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 61

"Louis... Babe look at me." Harry said softly as he gripped his husband's shoulders to make him stop pacing.

Louis let out a deep breath as he shook his head and looked up to the younger lad.  "Harry I don't know if I should do this, it's too early." He said quietly.

"Stop, you're just nervous, that's it." Harry said as he rubbed Louis' arm to try to calm him down. "Your team said that you've been doing great and that you're more than ready, and I think you're ready too."

Louis looked down to his cleats and shifted his weight on his feet as he bit his lip. "I dunno H. I just... I don't think I'm ready." He breathed out.

Harry knew Louis was nervous for his first game in months but the older lad had been training with his team for over two weeks and he thought he was ready. Of course that was until he stepped onto the pitch.

"Why are you doing this?" Harry asked quietly as he moved his hands to Louis' hips to make sure he wouldn't walk away. "Why do you keep doubting yourself?"

Louis ran a hand through his hair as he shook his head and wouldn't meet his husband's eye.

"C'mon Lou, talk to me." Harry said softly.

"Harry I'm gonna mess up." Louis said with a touch of frustration in his voice. "I'm gonna screw something up and then I'll be right back where I was."

"You don't know that Louis." Harry said quietly as he shook his head and rubbed the older lad's back. "I get that you're nervous about being back, but you kept saying you want to get back on the pitch. You're here now, you're ready, just try love."

Louis let out a deep breath as he looked at the pitch and saw his team warming up. He hasn't played a game in nearly four months and as he watched the lads on the field he wasn't sure if he could actually join them.

"Listen..." Harry began quietly as he pulled the older lad into his chest. "Go out there and try, and if you get overwhelmed or anxious I'll be here on the side, just have your coach pull you off." He said softly.

"You're gonna stay here?" Louis asked quietly as he bit his lip, making sure his husband wasn't going anywhere.

"Right here." Harry said as he nodded and pulled Louis impossibly closer to him.

"Tommo c'mon! We need you on the pitch!" Marcus yelled as the game was going to start any minute.

Louis let out a deep breath as he nodded at his mate and looked back to Harry. "Can you give me my medicine?" He asked quietly.

"Sure." Harry said before reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out Louis' bottle of pills. He shook one out before giving it to the older lad and passing him his water bottle.  "Remember if you start getting overwhelmed or anything come off." He said softly.

Louis nodded as he swallowed his pill and handed Harry his water bottle back. "Thank you." He breathed out.

Louis jumped in place and and tried to relax a bit before offering his husband a small smile and pecking his lips quickly.  Harry grinned back at him and kissed the older lad one more time before pushing him towards the pitch and watching him jog towards his teammates.

Harry let out a deep breath as he watched his husband take his position on the pitch. He knew Louis was terrified of having another freak out, but this wouldn't be just any freak out. This would be a freak out in front of thousands of people and then even more watching on tv.

But he knew Louis was ready for this. He's been training harder than he ever has before for the past two months and for the past two weeks he's been with his team it seemed to be going great. Harry should've expected the older lad to have nerves about coming back though. This was the only thing that Louis hadn't fully brought back into his life since his episode and Harry figured it was because that football was what his father had pushed him in most. Maybe Louis thought if he were to get back into it he would lose all the progress he's made, but Harry had complete faith in him. His husband has come too far for one thing to tip him over the edge.