Unclaimed Love

We were sitting on a checkered cloth, my legs folded carefully into his lap. His hands playing with my hair. We had both just finished high school and I was about to go to St. Laurence Academy for young women. While he had set his course for the middle of nowhere, he had no plans for the future. It was a waste! He was so smart; he got accepted to Yale without even sending in an application hut blew it off like it was nothing. I think it was because it was to far away from St. Laurence, but he wouldn’t say that out loud. We sat in silence both enveloped in our own thoughts. The birds chirped a bright airy song, as happy to be outside as I was. It dipped and carried its self though the maze of airways. I began to relax and feel the warmth radiating off of Collins chest, when he asked

“Do you love me?”  I sat quietly and pondered the question; I took a strawberry and began to slowly devour it. Did I love him? I think that I love being around him because it all feels so natural. But did I love his lanky arms and disoriented face? Did I get weak in the knees like they always say you should when you find ‘the one’?

No.

No I didn’t.

But that didn’t mean I don’t care about him. I do love him, like I love a good book, its comforting to me. I finished my strawberry and trough the stem into the grass. I intended to tell him everything and I hoped he would understand. So I said,

“No. No Collin I don’t” his face turned to stone and he started packing up all the food. I rattled off reasons why I didn’t. “I care about you as a friend; you are like my brother always there when I need you and you never lie to me.” He had packed up everything and was waiting for me to stand up so he could get the blanket out from underneath me. I stood next to him as he carefully folded the blanket.

“But…” I trailed off.

“But what?” he asked.

“But I don’t love you, Collin”. He picked up the basket and stalked off down the hill muttering to himself, all I could make out was something about the Navy Seals.

            That was the last time I ever saw Collin for a long while. Little did I know was that I was going to miss him.

TEN YEARS LATER-

I walked down the hallway my Stilettos clacking against the pearl while marble floor. I knocked on the managers door and waited for him to let me in. he bellowed “come in” in a playful voice. I stepped inside and quietly closed the door behind me. Troy was at his desk typing what I guessed was the front page of tomorrows newspaper. He swiveled around and his eyes meet mine. I quickly crossed the wooden floor and carefully sat in the one of the seats by his desk, making sure to cross my legs as Madam from the academy had instructed me to. I looked at him and saw the old mischief swirling in his eyes; I had forgotten just how blue his eyes were. My heart pattered in my chest as old memories flooded in.

His blue eyes filled with mistrust, hurt and anger.

 Me walking away, looking back once only to see him staring back at me with tears in his eyes.

Me turning around and walking to my car, only to sit there and cry until I fell asleep in my own tears.

My heart slowly falling into the darkness that soon became my love life.

I couldn’t help but blush at his amused face, I guess I had zoned off.

“What brings you here today?” Troy asked.

“Well I was wondering if you could give me a piece that really had something to it. I need to get my name out there, so people know who I am.” I said looking him directly in the eye.

He smiled and began to shuffle through all the piles of paper that covered his desk, he pulled a manila folder from the bottom of the stack and handed it across the desk. I grasped it in my hand, Navy Seals I muttered to myself.

“I think this is just the piece for you Jess.” He said as he smiled deviously and crossed his hands over his chest.

“So what’s the twist to the story?” I asked eagerly shuffling through the folder. His smile faltered for a fraction of a second but he regained his composure and said,

“I think you should find that out for yourself.”

“OK, I will let you know when I have the piece finished” I called over my shoulder as I walked out the door, eager to get started.

“Goodbye Jesse.” He called as I was walking down the hall.

I got to my office and cleared off my small desk and sat the folder in the middle. I took a three page summary out of the folder and began to read it greedily. I had just read the opening paragraph when my phone rang. I picked up he phone and said into the mouth piece

“Good morning this is Jesseca Alexander from Stella Inc. what can I help you with today?” a familiar voice replied back

“Well thank you for that formal introduction, how’s work going for you?” I smiled as I realized it was MacLaine on the other end.

“Oh it’s just great!” I said bubbling with excitement, wanting to tell her about my new project. But before I could say anything else she said

“Well that’s great because then you can come and pickup Zach from the nurses office.”   

“Its toms day today, did you call him first?” I asked.

“I did, but all I got was a voice message saying he was in Hawaiiliving it up with Rosella.”

“That @#!*% !” I exclaimed.

“I take it he didn’t tell you this.” MacLaine said muffling her laughter.

“Ok I will be over there as soon as I can to pick up Zack.” I said and slammed the phone down. I stuffed all the papers back in the folder and ran out of my office grabbing my jacket as I left.