I feel upset
at all times.
I want to be happy
and have a good time.
I can't find joy
in the things I like
as they cause too much pain
thought out my joints.
I wish I knew why
all this was happening
or at least something that helped
while it was happening.
Instead I'm stuck
wondering why
and questioning
my body and all its flaws.
I don't like feeling the pain
and the feeling of hopelessness.
I don't like not knowing
if it will stop
or if its just going
to get worse.
As of now
its on a decline,
leaving me hurting
more than one should.
Why does this happen?
Why to me?
Why have I done wrong
for this to be the new me?
Is this who I am?
Or who I'm meant to be?
I don't what to be know
as the girl with pain.
At least now I'm making friends
although I don't know their face.
At least now I have a friend
who gets what I mean.
I now have someone to ask
the stupid questions in my mind,
and she knows what I mean
as she's dealt for a long time.
She's just like me
in many ways.
She says we must be twins
as we're so much alike.
I like having someone to trust
I only wish she lived near
so I could talk to her each day
and have a friend near.
I need a friend more than ever
someone I know I can trust.
I need to meet a new person
who knows just how to adjust.
They don't have to get
what I go through,
I would not wish this on anyone
as it is so tough.
I'm just asking for a friend
who will listen and react
and put up with my mood
as I'm very lost.
Why does this happen
to normal people like me?
What have I done
to get this cruel treat?
Did I do something wrong
that I just don't remember?
Or does this just happen
no matter what happens?
I haven't hurt myself
for this pain
just tried to walk along
at my own pace.
I want to go back
to when I could keep up
and hang with my friends
without seeming
depressed.
A word that now haunts me
everywhere I go.
Maybe I am
but I'm not ready to say so.
My sister thinks so too
and that hurts the most.
I care what she thinks
so her words hurt the most.
I just want to get
why this has happened
and what I can do
to make life a little bit better.
I can't continue to live this way at all.
